Gonna drink a Diet Dr. Pepper, donate to an abortion fund, and call it a day.
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- A two-year-old Guatemalan boy who arrived at the U.S.-Mexico border with his mother and was then detained by Customs and Border Protection has died. Three days after they were detained, his mother reported he was sick. The toddler died this past Tuesday after spending weeks in a hospital in El Paso. [Washington Post]
- Trump unveiled his fucked up immigration “plan” today. [Associated Press]
- If you can believe it, Donald Trump’s pardons are self-serving. [New York Times]
- Donald Trump is not happy with John Bolton and Mike Pompeo’s warmongering over Iran, which, thank god?!? But also, they’re not the ones who are supposed to decide if we go to war?!? [Washington Post]
Taylor Lautner Doesn’t Even Remember Saying ‘Bella! Where the Hell Have You Been Loca?’
- Elizabeth Warren has released another plan, this time to tackle what she describes as the “intense coziness between giant defense corporations and our Department of Defense.” Next up, I would really like her to come up with a plan for how to keep my local dog park from getting so muddy after it rains by taxing the ultra-rich, because my girl Frankie has NOT been happy lately. [Vox/Medium]
- Jay Inslee, one of the 3,204 men running for the Democratic presidential nomination, also has a plan, a $300 billion one to fight climate change. [ABC News]
- Relatedly, Pete Buttigieg finally has an “Issues” page up on his website. [Campaign website]
- Kamala Harris raised more than $160,000 for several different abortion funds. [HuffPost]
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been turned into a literal comic book hero. Why does she look like some Asian ninja though. [NY1]
Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.