Animal Activist Barges Into Restaurant, Rants About Her Chicken Baby

Animal Rights activists may frequently be patently absurd, but some of them make for truly great entertainment. If you can make it through the above video without breaking up into hysterical wracked sobs of laughter, you are a far more stoic person than I.


In the video, which is titled (as if this wasn't already hilarious enough) "#DisruptSpeciesism," a woman named Kelly Atlas storms into a restaurant and asks all the patrons for their attention. She then proceeds to tell them about her "little girl, Snow," who it soon becomes apparent is, in fact, a chicken. She relates through tears a somewhat disjointed story about rescuing Snow and "leaving her sisters behind," which makes me think there was a poultry farmer who watched animal rights activists steal his chickens while they shouted about freeing the oppressed and he stood there with the world's greatest "WTF" expression. OK, it probably didn't happen like that, but please, let me dream.

"THIS ISN'T FOOD!" Kelly shrieks through tears towards the end, "IT'S VIOLENCE!" Then a cadre of like-minded people we all hope to God we never get stuck talking to at a party walk up and hold up signs proclaiming that "It's Not Food, It's Violence." If they are to be believed, then violence tastes goddamned delicious.*

As far as I can tell, this isn't elaborate performance art (and if it turns out to be, bra-fucking-vo to Kelly here) — she and those like her legitimately believe "speciesism" is a thing. Here's a tweet from her:


It's honestly hard for me to pick the moment in the video that makes me laugh that hardest here. Is it Kelly's earnest expression throughout her completely bonkers rant? Is it the moment where she tells people "I can see you laughing" and just keeps plowing ahead? Is it the fact that numerous YouTube commenters (I know, I know) seem to be genuinely confused about whether she's talking about a human baby? No, no: it's definitely the Motown soundtrack coming through the restaurant's speakers in the background throughout this entire video. It's definitely that.


'Scuse me, I suddenly feel an inexplicable need to go to a diner and go full Ron Swanson:

Personally, I think anyone who values animals over or equal to people is to be both pitied and backed away from slowly. This is not to say "vegans and vegetarians" — I have no issue with anyone choosing to eat however they want, and there's nothing inherently good or bad about being a meat-eater or a vegan/vegetarian. As well, factory farming is a really shitty practice, and the way we do agribusiness hurts not only the economy and the environment, but smaller farmers. It's a process that badly needs to change, and I can totally get behind any criticism of factory farming. Kelly Atlas and her loon brigade, however, aren't protesting simple factory farming: they're protesting the entire concept of eating animals, which, nope, bye. Animals aren't people, and if you feel like judging me for eating them, I am going to laugh at you.


Despite that, to anyone about to unironically use "speciesism" in the comments here as they rail against my cruelty towards my dinner: I promise I won't ban you. Seriously. It'll be WAY more fun to highlight your comments so we can all have a good laugh.

* I've thought long and hard about how I would've reacted if I'd been one of those customers, and I've come to the conclusion that it almost certainly involves me shouting, "EXCUSE ME, GARCON, I WILL HAVE ALSO THE VEAL AND ANY FOIE GRAS YOU HAVE ON HAND."



While it's tempting to watch a video like this and then immediately spit out the mind-numbingly predictable, ignorant, and arrogant word vomit that your article artfully encapsulates, I would suggest that in the future you take a solid 5 fucking minutes or so to think about what you are instigating and encouraging as a writer on a feminist blog.

I am a feminist. I am also a vegan and a proponent of animal rights. These two things are not unrelated. While this activist's approach is for sure abnormal and rather shocking, her message is an important one and it has everything to do with feminism. It was not that long ago when women were not allowed to vote. We were seen as property. It was totally cool to rape or beat one's wife. Our voices were not heard. Basically, much of the world (men) did not really give any fucks about our feelings, our suffering, our desire to live peacefully, our longing for freedom, etc. Today, human trafficking is still a huge issue that the world and our own country struggles with, among many many many many other feminist issues that I obviously do not need to extrapolate upon to this particular audience. Many of us intelligent folk can connect the dots between feminism and other issues. Like racism, for example. It was not that long ago when black people were bought and sold and beaten and raped and denied their freedom and most (white) people gave little to no fucks about them. In the world of feminism, we tend to also gravitate towards racial equality, marriage equality, and other human rights issues that strike similar chords within our compassionate, little souls. The girl in this video has advanced beyond your apparently short-sighted reasoning skills and realized, "Hey. Animals aren't EXACTLY like me. But because I graduated from kindergarten, and maybe I have a pet cat or something, I know that we have some things in common. Animals like it when people are nice to them. They can experience things like happiness, and sadness, and fear, and pain, and curiousity, and hunger. They don't like being violently killed because no one does. And because I am a rational human being, I understand that eating a chicken means I am playing a complicit part in their violent death. And because I am a compassionate human being, I will not eat chickens anymore. And because I am passionate about this, I will let others know not to eat chickens, too." None of this equals "CRAZY." It equals logic. Barging into a restaurant may not be the best way to spread the message, but that's not really the fucking point.

Some people look at women's rights activists like you look at her. Some people look at women like you look at chicken. What your article has done, if you've read any of the comments below it, is foster an environment that gleefully promotes violence against peaceful animals that are at the mercy of humans, have no voice of their own, and desperately want and need to be heard. One simple act of compassion has been met with defiance, defensiveness, willful ignorance, mockery, and the threat of additional violence against those she seeks to protect- simply for speaking out on their behalf. These are all behaviors feminists recognize and abhor because we are regularly subjected to them.

What I can't fucking figure out for the life of me is how an entire community of people who come together in solidarity to fight against violent acts of aggression against women can't connect the dots far enough to see the cruel irony in promoting violence against another group of living, breathing, feeling, suffering creatures who are systematically exploited, abused, bought and sold, beaten, killed, and then eaten.

What pisses me off is how easily you have compartmentalized your compassion to conveniently fit your current lifestyle. Standing up for women- no biggie. Sure. This requires no change in a daily routine since you don't (I presume) participate in activities like human trafficking, or rape, or owning people as property. Women's rights is a somewhat normalized thing- since the brave activists before us paved the way to today. And surely they endured attacks similar to yours- being accused of insanity, and suffering the backlash of standing up for what isn't popular, but what is right. But for you, standing up for animals is a no go- because you would have to change what you eat, what you wear, maybe how you vote, and only CRAZY people believe in this totally made up word called "speciesism." Which is, actually, a real word with a real definition. Much like how feminism used to be a radical notion that should be "backed away from slowly" because of all the change it would require of you if you had the audacity to believe in it and then support it.

Amazingly and unfortunately, I've actually had the recent opportunity to see chickens like Snow being slaughtered. I saw it in person. And I saw them slaughtered by the hundreds. I saw the way people treated these birds. As if they're suffering didn't exist. As if it didn't matter. They laughed. They violently threw them and kicked them, as the dying chickens choked on their blood and struggled to live. It was not funny. It was fucking traumatic as fuck. And I really believe that as long as there are people in this world that can look at a suffering animal and treat it like trash, like it doesn't fucking matter at all, then there will always be people who look at other people through that lens. And the ones who will continue to suffer will always be the people who are viewed as "less than." Black people, brown people, poor people, women. And if you support and encourage the mockery of those who stand up for the rights of suffering animals- creatures with no voice of their own- then you cannot also meaningfully contribute to a community that fosters an atmosphere of peace, inclusion, and love for people who are also viewed down upon, by some, as worthless.

You do not have to view animals as more important than humans to stand up for them. You do not have to view animals as equal to humans to stand up for them. I stand up for animals all the time, and I stand up for a lot of human rights issues, as well. It does not mean I don't give a shit about people. It doesn't mean that if a building was on fire, I'd save a chicken instead of a person. It means I give a shit about animals enough to recognize their suffering, to care about it, and to make a conscious effort to lessen it. And that sure as fuck does not make me CRAZY. And my compassion towards animals has also made me feel more compassionately towards humans, not less.

Additionally, people love talking to me at parties because I'm funny and I'm a good storyteller, and I talk about lots of non-animal rights related issues because I'm just a normal fucking person who cares about all living creatures and it's not the only fucking thing I ever converse about.

I hope you can walk away from this "CRAZZZZZYYY" animal rights-related rant having gained some new perspective on the topic. If not, and you choose to use it as further fodder, I will leave you with this gem:

Save a chicken. Eat a dick.

Ignorant thinking like yours has no place on a blog like this.