An Easy Breakfast Recipe You Can Whip Up in No Time

Many of us have coped with the uncertainty and stress of life during a pandemic and a rapid slide into fascism by turning to the comforts of our homes, which we now never leave. And specifically, to the kitchens in our homes, where it seems, if my Instagram feed is any indication, people have increasingly begun cooking admittedly delicious-looking meals, dishes that I would love to eat but not prepare, as they seem time-consuming, and require many ingredients.

I understand that cooking can be a comfort, a nice distraction that results in something ideally that tastes good and keeps us alive to cry and fight another day. I myself went through a week of frenzied bread-baking a couple of months ago, but since then, overwhelmed and tired, I have reverted back to my usual “cooking” and eating habits, which I’ve previously described as “the anarchic food habits and mindset of a five-year-old, or a Silicon Valley tech bro.” Essentially, my main goal is to keep myself alive, all while expending as little time and energy as possible.

Which brings me to today, when in the spirit of sharing, I sent the photo of my breakfast to my colleagues in our recipes Slack channel, writing, “I have a really good recipe.” Usually, the recipes that are shared indeed look good, yet are somewhat complicated, with many steps. I wanted to give my colleagues the gift of ease and flavor. My breakfast recipe requires only two ingredients—a packet of walnut and raisin instant oatmeal and a cut-up hotdog—and the steps are simple—you just mix it all together with a 1/2 cup of water and then pop it in the microwave for two minutes.

Here it is again, for reference:

This dish ticked off all the boxes for me—incredibly easy to make; a nice mix of carbs, fat, and protein; and dare I say it, it tasted good too. “You get a lil sweet, you get a lil salty,” I wrote. Even better, once you’re done eating, there is only one bowl and one spoon to wash. What’s not to love and appreciate?

But the reaction from my Jezebel colleagues was, perhaps not surprisingly, largely one of horror, with the exception of Clover Hope, who wrote, “This does seem good.” (Thank you, Clover.) “I feel nervous looking at this for some reason, it gives me anxiety,” Emily Alford wrote. “Esther,” Hazel Cills wrote. “Esther : (,” Molly Osberg wrote. “Esther babe,” Megan Reynolds wrote.

What do you think of this breakfast? Will you try it one day? I promise you won’t be disappointed!