Amy Schumer's Wedding Vows Actually Seem Pretty Tame

Illustration for article titled Amy Schumers Wedding Vows Actually Seem Pretty Tame
Photo: AP

You know how Amy Schumer got married to chef Chris Fischer a couple weeks ago?

Well, now you can see some footage from that wedding, including the vows, and it’s all set to a bluegrass cover of “Rainbow Connection” by The Get Down Boys.


Schumer gets a little silly during the vows (“I just wanted to plug some of my road dates”) but it’s mostly an earnest, supremely PG affair. Or edited as such.


And not a blow-job joke in sight.

[The Cut]

Here’s Ireland Baldwin’s PETA ad (she’s the daughter of Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger in case you were needing to look that up, like I was!).

I suppose that, yes, I agree, unless it’s winter and those are my only two options. And especially if constant public shame and harassment are taken out of the equation. Then fine, cool, great, I guess female nudity wouldn’t need to seem as outrageous as wearing the skin of a dozen slain bunnies in that case.


Ever wonder what Russell Crowe is doing? Rest assured it’s exactly what you had in mind: auctioning off a bunch of stuff he and his ex-wife used to enjoy together on their wedding anniversary.




This has been Dirt Bag brought to you by Marriage (and PETA).

  • Looks like a Men in Black spinoff starring Chris Hemsworth is in the works. [Variety]
  • Is there Twitter rehab for celebs? Is it, like, a spa with no wifi? Put it in an Italian chateau and send Armie Hammer there. [Page Six]
  • Keith Richards apologized to Mick Jagger about dick-related stuff. [People]

contributing writer, nights

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Fuck PETA. They aren’t about what they want you to think they’re about.