America's Worst Couple Might Not Be Getting Married?!

Illustration for article titled America's Worst Couple Might Not Be Getting Married?!
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Another day in paradise for me and maybe for you, but NOT for America’s worst couple who have been together for what feels like an eternity and have not decided on whether or not they will actually get married.

Marriage is not for everyone! But Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton have been so publicly horny for and with each other, both on the television show that employs them and also, I assume, for the watchful eyes of the paparazzi. They talk about how obsessed they are with each other in every possible format and venue, so much so that Dula Peep thought they were married, and had to be CORRECTED by Gwen to clarify that, yes, even though they live on a ranch together and insinuate that they tongue kiss every now and again, they are not married. Okay. They’re not married. I’ve received the memo! However, Hoda Kotb has not?

Gwen sat down for a little chat and really tiptoed through and around the tulips, as it were, when Kotb asked her about when she and Blakey-poo were gonna make their hideous union official.

While chatting with Gwen, Hoda said she searched “Gwen and Blake” on her phone and the results ranged from “Gwen and Blake song” to “Gwen and Blake married” to “Gwen and Blake engaged” to “Gwen and Blake call off wedding.” After reading some of the headlines, Hoda asked a surprised Gwen, “What’s happening with the wedding?”

In response, Gwen told Hoda, “That’s a really good question. Well, the good news is that we still like each other a lot, so that’s good.”

“I don’t know,” Gwen laughed. “We’ll see what happens, you know what I’m saying?”


You know.... I’ll give it to Gwen for being cagey about whether or not she wants to marry this man, after all! Of the two people involved in this unholy union, I want the most for Gwen—take a minute, do not be on TV any longer, retreat back to Anaheim. We don’t need shit else in this nightmare year, but 2021 seems like a great time for a pop-ska revival (ha ha ha, I’m kidding, but whatever it takes!). [Hollywood Life]

Here are two small tidbits of information about the Kardashians, sorry. First, Kris Jenner thinks social media is part of the reason the show that has made her a bajillionaire is coming to an end. You know, she’s right. She’s right a lot of the time, which is why her little family is now a multi-pronged corporation, etc, so on. Speaking of her little family, here’s what her shiniest star, Kimberly, is doing for her upcoming 40th birthday, really, damn!?!

She has rented an island or a retreat somewhere in the Caribbean and is scooping up most of her family, and some special friends like Jonathan Cheban to go to said island for a weekend. Since we are still living through a public health crisis, Page Six assures its readership that Kim’s 40th birthday party attendees have already been tested once for covid but will be tested again (?) over the weekend to make sure that “everyone is safe.” Okay! Everyone’s making it up as they go along. [Page Six]

  • Send good wishes and nice vibes to Jeff Bridges, who was recently diagnosed with lymphoma. [Us Weekly]
  • I don’t know why I care about Ant Anstead or his ex-wife, Christina, but I do...? [People]
  • Please, Rebel Wilson looks fine, let’s stop making it a Thing every time she posts a photo of herself looking slightly smaller than she was before, thanks. [Hollywood Life]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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I, too, would like Gwen to ditch this early 00's Ford F150 personified and make some more good music with No Doubt.