Are Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner—aka Bennifer: Round 2—getting divorced? If you believe the tabloids, then yes, they are.

Oh my, it seems that Ben and Jen have been sharing their personal business with gossip reporters around the globe. Either that or gossip reporters are interviewing people tangentially connected to the couple and jumping to their own conclusions. But let’s examine whether or not this new pet tabloid story has any legs.

First, verifiable facts: the couple hasn’t been photographed together since April 24th, and they’ve been plagued with breakup rumors through a good portion of their marriage. Next, widely uttered speculation: gambling addiction, cheating, and good old fashioned Hollywood fakery.

Let’s rate the validity of these probably mostly fake rumors with the help of poker hands because I like to stay on-theme.

Rumor: Ben is divorcing Jen soon because he’s got films to promote.

“Ben wants the official statement to come out a few weeks before their 10th anniversary June 29 — which he hopes will give enough time for the news to die down by the time he has to promote Batman v Superman and the other movies he has coming out next year.”

(via OK Magazine)

Brutal if true. I would be willing to bet, however, that if this is his strategy, he didn’t come up with it on his own. There’s likely a team of publicists, agents and lawyers trying to figure out how to keep Ben’s messy personal life from fucking up the release of the 85th Batman movie the world doesn’t need.

Believability: Full House

Rumor: Ben and Jen have been faking it for a long time.

Often, when Ben and Jen have a problem, they just agree to ride it out and be miserable together until they can get some time apart,” a pal of Garner’s said. “Jennifer has close friends who think that she and Ben are a horrible fit, despite how much he loves being a father to those kids.”

(via OK Magazine)

What I don’t believe is that anyone who describes their friend’s marriage as “miserable” to a gossip magazine deserves to be identified as a “pal.” However, I do totally buy that some of Jennifer’s friends hate Ben. Call it a gut feeling.

Believability: Straight

Rumor: Ben’s a raging gambling addict.

Another factor of their breakup for Jen? The 42-year-old abandoned his daddy duties to play high-stakes poker for hours in Las Vegas.

(via OK Magazine)

“Hours” like, he plays for hours everyday, or “hours” like, total in his life? Although, you can measure a lot of things in hours, so this seems like a bit of a copout. Still we do know the man likes the tables.

“Jen and Ben have had many fights this year over his increased gambling,” the insider said. TheBatman actor was banned from playing blackjack at the Hard Rock Casino & Hotel in Las Vegas back in May 2014, though he insisted Jen has never been mad about his activities in Details.

(via OK Magazine)

I believe that he told Details magazine that lie.

Believability: 4 of a Kind

Rumor: Shut up.

“This is a very difficult time for her,” a neighbor of Jen’s sister, Susannah, told OK! exclusively. “Everyone needs to stop talking about it.”

(via OK Magazine)

Yes, Jennifer Garner’s sister’s next door neighbor, having people like you running their mouths about some shit they know nothing about probably is difficult.

Believability: Royal Flush

Rumor: Ben Affleck had a tantrum.

In a frenzied burst of anger, Ben Affleck ditched his wedding ring and stormed out on wife Jennifer Garner and their three children!

(via Radar Online)

Seems like you kinda had to be there...

Believability: High Card

Rumor: Ben ran away to a Buddhist monastery.

An in-depth investigation by The National ENQUIRER discovered Affleck fled to a Buddhist monastery in Canada to “get his head straight” after a fight with Garner!

(via Radar Online)

What?

Believability: 2 Pair

Rumor: Ben hasn’t been wearing his wedding ring.

During his stay on a remote island, the 42-year-old Oscar winner was caught on video without his wedding ring — remarkably just 24 hours before Garner’s 43rd birthday.

Well, they do have video.

Believability: Royal Flush.

Rumor: Ben is having a midlife crisis.

“Ben is in the grips of a mid-life crisis,” a source close to the couple told The ENQUIRER. “He’s trying to figure out what he wants out of life, and find a path back to being a good husband.”

“He’s on a ‘self discovery’ mission, and talking through his marital issues. He’s at a crossroads.”

It’s never happened to me but from what I’ve gleaned, marriage can be hard.

Believability: Flush

Rumor: Jen is a drama queen.

“Jennifer loves drama and absolutely thrives on it,” said the insider, “She used to play games with her ex-husband/co-star Scott Foley on the set of the ABC show ‘Alias’ by calling Ben on her cellphone right in front of Scott.”

(via NY Daily News)

Yeah, but maybe those were calls were about their silly Daredevil costumes.

Believability: 2 Pair


Contact the author at kara.brown@jezebel.com .

Images via Getty.

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