Photo: All images by Christian Miranda.

Latinx proudly do the most for social events of all magnitudes. Proof lies in the crowd at any reggaetonero or trapero’s concert, New Year’s Eve at any abuela’s house (wear sweatpants and get chanclas thrown at you in the form of stares from every tia), and, of course, every award show. Telemundo Puerto Rico added another one to the list this year with an overdue and timely celebration of urbano, one of the most popular global genres of the moment. In its first iteration ever, the show celebrated some of the artists who were ignored at other shows—most comically at the Latin Grammys where J Balvin was most-nominated yet repeatedly snubbed.

Though the show mostly only honored people who were kind enough to show up (leaving Bad Bunny completely out of the mix), and was riddled with unfortunate technical difficulties, the outfits (mostly) did not disappoint.

Farruko, whose music I enjoy but clothes combinations I never understand, stayed true to his brand—so no surprise here, but he did make me realize this hairstyle (which Anuel AA also sports), looks good on absolutely no one and will give all these dudes forehead pimples in a few months. I’m concerned. Please go see your dermatologists and stop this trend immediately.

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La caballota, la diva, la potraaaa. Why wear one over-the-top ensemble when you can have two and accessorize them with fans of their own whilst drawing attention to your iconic long nails in neon green? And, just in case anyone needed reminding that she is the QUEEN of reggaeton, she also invited a few drag queens as her guests for the red carpet—each of whom wore a former look of hers. Pa’ que tu sepas.

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The show had a few of the original Puerto Rican greats perform and I’m disappointed that Ivy Queen wasn’t one of them. She could’ve easily replaced Tito El Bambino (who need I remind you embarrassed us all with his White House performance in 2009) and would have been an infinitely better watch, but moving right along...

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Natti Natasha was glowing in this fun sparkly dress that shows off some of her best features, and a crimped long pony. I rarely like the one-sleeve look as it reminds me of my middle school prom dress but this is one of the few exceptions.

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From right to left, we have Dalex in an outfit that reminds me of my parents’ commitment to having every part of my outfit match in grade school. Este outfit no es Pa Mí. Jon Z is a walking GIF with those glasses and his hair feels like confirmation that I don’t need to get curly bangs. (No one needs bangs, really.) Rauw Alejandro is the latest addition to my non-existing wedding Pinterest mood board for potential officiant attire: Silky cape avec Skittle braids. I hate that I love this.

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Carmen Villalobos, Colombian actress and the more chill host of the night, wore a very flattering, cute and simple half latex, half plastic (??) mini-dress that I am sweating just looking at and threw on some lovely heels I’d throw off the stage after 5 minutes. Respect.

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Zuleyka Rivera, model and other host of the night, looked great in each of the approximately 15 outfit changes, and made it clear that she really knows her angles but is bad at reading the room. All good though, because she was dripping finesse throughout all of it!!! Yay? The dress and entire look above was one of my favorites of the night, with just the right amounts of colorful, simple and sexy paired with perfect wet beach waves.

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“Can we take a minute to admire Lennox’s mani?” typed the author with a 3-week-old gel mani that desperately needs fixing. Zion y Lennox, which salon should I check out when I go to PR next month? DMs are open.

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One of the salsa greats who can do no wrong, Olga Tanon, looked fabulous in this Sunday church hat and red pantsuit. The dude performing next to her in a chalk-stained jean jacket ain’t worthy.

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Daddy Yankee, the second-most awarded man of the night, kept it cool and comfy in different sweats and black sunnies as if he was the most well-known person in the room and could do the least if he pleased—because he was and he can.

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Jhay Cortez jumped straight out of The Matrix—a movie I never cared for, but might have if it was a musical that included a bunch of urbano artists doing flips while their tiny sunglasses remained in place.

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Singer-songwriter Calma Carmona is a vision. Look at that posture! Look at that elevated rhythmic gymnastics leotard with rosy pink feathers! My incredibly mean childhood instructor would approve! Look at that little velour bag! And lest we forget her STUNNING DREADS! I am here for all of it.

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And last, but certainly not least, here we have Ozuna in an outfit from Latin Star Wars in 2045 and Wisin y Yandel in outfits your ex-Latin lover would wear to le discoteque in 2005. Please clap for Yandel’s flowered (?), leather (??), tights (???) and Wisin’s bedazzled metallic gold cap. Give us another reunion tour ASAP.