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Once upon a time, when I was a little baby unpaid editorial intern at Billboard I was asked to work their annual Women In Music event, which mostly meant helping white ladies at Ticketmaster find their seats and compiling a gift bag for Taylor Swift. It was held in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday in a teeny hall in Chinatown, the Target dog was there, and I was simply grateful for the opportunity to leave the office.

Since feminism is cool now, the event has become a much larger affair, with even more fake awards and performances than ever before. The 2018 iteration of the event, which took place Thursday night, looks a lot fancier than what I remember. Everyone looked conservative, but also somehow hot? Let’s take a look.

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I’m so fucking grateful for Ariana Grande’s commitment to both monochrome and thigh-high boots. Janelle Monae’s chaps and dramatic shoulders are unreal, and perhaps the best look of the night. Former Fifth Harmonizer Lauren Jauregui tried it. She didn’t find it.

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Nashville’s Maggie Rogers looked extremely cool in this floor-length, long-sleeve, high-neck black dress with hippie-dippie tie-dye detailing and a matching clutch. The queen Cyndi Lauper’s ta-tas were out to play in this deep green frock and I take back everything I said about Monae, Philly’s Tierra Whack’s look is by far the best, and maybe one of my fave fits of the year? The platform Nikes, the oversize jacket-dress? It’s so good.

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Ava Max, an extraordinarily lackadaisical pop singer you will probably hear about in the future, did the most with this giant black skirt and Madonna-adjacent fingerless gloves. Ashley Graham, hot person, made sheer leopard sleeves a thing and sweet Grace VanderWaal should have some words with her stylist—it’s a no from me, son.

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Hayley Kiyoko’s casual stage look was cute, though the built-in fanny pack pocket is confounding.

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Her Valentine’s Day-red dress was sweet as well. Totally fine!

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But no one rocks red like Alicia Keys. I’m obsessed with this round-the-head turtleneck with the suit to match.

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Regina Spektor’s form-fitting coat with floofy black pocket lining is extremely her; Patti LaBelle’s sweeping sleeves and black lace is gorgeous—she looks like she’s accepting an honorary doctorate from Harvard. She looks so good. Not mad at Anderson .Paak’s Gucci gang, either.

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Ellie Goulding’s silky baby pink elevates her glow; Alex Belle and Isis Valentine look like Clueless extras, and it rocks. Victoria Monét’s creamy mustard-gold isn’t my favorite, but she works it.

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Walking wig Njomza wore a lot of cream shades. Dua Lipa wore a lot of beige shades. Kacey Musgraves looked like a 1960's girl group angel. May she never change.