All Good Awards-Show Speeches Must Now Conclude with Marriage Proposals

Imagine caring about what whoever directed the Oscars last year had to say as he accepted his Emmy for Outstanding Directing for a Variety Special. Now imagine it included a marriage proposal. Well, it did, and if you didn’t care before, you should because it was lovely.

Upon hitting the stage of Monday’s ceremony, Glenn Weiss thanked his daughters and some people like Jimmy Kimmel “at Team Oscar” (sure, makes sense). Then he began speaking about “the person [who would be] most proud at this moment,” his mother, who died two weeks ago. It seemed heartfelt and made me care about the personal life of someone whose existence I’d never even considered (behold: the power of awards shows).

And then he said, “Mom always believed in finding the sunshine in things and she adored my girlfriend Jan. Jan, you are the sunshine in my life, and Mom was right: don’t ever let go of your sunshine. You wonder why I don’t like to call you my girlfriend? Because I want to call you my wife.”

And then Jan (full name: Janis Friedlander Svendsen) took the stage, Weiss presented Jan with the ring his dad gave his mom 67 years ago, and asked her to marry him. She said no, though.

Just kidding. But can you imagine?

Anyway, it makes a ton of sense that the guy who directed the Oscars knows how to deliver a motherfuckin’ awards-show speech. Someone, anyone, top this.