Alabama Republican Senator Claims He Is Being Stalked by Strippers

Alabama state Sen. Shadrack McGill is a conservative Christian who one time likened abortion to “destroying an eagle egg” while reintroducing a bill that would ban abortion at all stages. Since then, apparently, he has been stalked by exotic dancers. Is that a fitting punishment? I’m not sure.

Heather McGill, for one, is pretty angry about it — as evidenced in Facebook post she made from her husband’s account threatening all of the stripper/stalkers. The text of her post, which has gone viral for obvious reasons, is as follows:

Attention Facebook: This is Heather McGill (senator McGills wife) for anyone that does not know that. This may go viral and if so my prayer is that it strengthens marriages and families across this district, our state, and our country! I am very blessed to be the wife of a God fearing, hard working, ministry minded, loving father and husband and it is not just my right but my duty to lovingly serve him by protecting him! I have been silent for long enough!! NO MORE! Multiple times since being in office he has gotten emails from women (who may not even be real) inviting him to explore, also sending pictures of themselves. NO MORE!!! It is a shame that people are so heartless that they would try to split up families. We have children that look at our face books from time to time! Shame on you! You know who you are. Next time everyone will know who you are!! For I will publicly share your name before we “unfriend” you. I love my husband and my children too much to sit here and allow this to go on and will not give the enemy anymore foothold into my family! This is the “behind the scenes” garbage that political life brings. I will not turn a blind eye to it any longer! I remember years ago my Pastors wife standing before the congregation preaching to the young women about their dress which had gotten out of hand and she boldly stood before them and spoke the truth. I boldly stand before you today and declare that I will stand beside my husband, support him, love him, and protect him at ALL cost!!!! Those of you who know who you are consider yourself warned! Those of you who understand my heart, thank you for listening and may God bless your families!

According to Sen. Shadrack McGill, the cyber-soliciting wasn’t even the worst thing to happen to him:

During the campaign, we had two strippers come to my house at 1 o’clock in the morning. Me and my wife both got up to address the situation. They did inform me that they were strippers at a particular club in Huntsville.

On another occasion, McGill came across a woman in the parking lot of his place of work. According to Raw Story:

“She thought she had a flat tire and wanted her tire looked at, but she did not have a flat tire,” he said, adding that the woman’s business card indicated that she was a stripper.

After that came the deluge of half-naked pictures sent to McGill’s Facebook account.

Every single part of this story is glorious. In the first place, McGill is an asshat. Secondly, if you combine the two stripper incidents, they become the real-life opening scene to the most formulaic porn movie ever. Here’s some sample dialogue: “Sorry to bother you at 1 AM, conservative Christian lawmaker whose name is Shadrack, but I am in need of a ‘tire jack’. (‘Tire’ is a stand-in for ‘vagina’ here.) Please take my business card. As you can see, I am an exotic dancer. In fact, my friend and I are both exotic dancers.” Thirdly, it features irate Facebook antics that rival the behavior of a pair of 14-year-olds (“ATTENTION FACEBOOK SLUTS: i WILL call u out BY NAME and defriend u if you keep hittin on my bf. God bless evry1 else. God bless all the unborn eagle eggs.”). And, finally, just look at the awe-inspiring height of Heather’s BumpIt.

Sen. McGill commented on his wife’s Facebook diatribe, “You are a wise woman and If you were running for my senate seat, I would vote for you babe.” Great social media etiquette, Shadrack!

Unfortunately, this may be among his last poorly-punctuated Facebook comments: in an interview with AL.com, he said, “[A]s more and more of this country deals with a moral decline, it may be that I have to get rid of my Facebook account due to the moral issue that has become with using it.” Looks like the man will have to stick to poor spoken grammar from now on.

“Heather McGill, Wife of Alabama Sen. Shadrack McGill, Warns on Facebook to Keep Off Her Man” [ABC]
“Alabama lawmaker says he’s being stalked by strippers” [Raw Story]