Almost exactly a month after filing for divorce from Offset, Cardi B revealed in an Instagram Live on Tuesday that the couple is back together after reuniting during Cardi’s birthday weekend celebrations in Las Vegas. Offset publicly wooed Cardi for her big day, gifting her a Rolls Royce and buying out a billboard wishing her a happy birthday from their daughter Kulture. When talking about why she’d gotten back together with him, Cardi explained that she just missed him.
“I’m just a crazy bitch. One day, I’m happy and the next day I want to beat a nigga up and fuckin, ‘I’m gonna teach ya ass motherfuckin, I ain’t playin’ with you. You’re gonna see,’” she said in the Live video. “And then it’s like, I don’t know, I just start missing...”
“It’s hard not to talk to your best friend. You know what I’m saying? It’s really hard not to talk to your best friend,” she adds. “And it’s really hard to have no dick. And it’s just like, I don’t know.”
When she filed for divorce in September, Cardi said the reason she was finally done with the marriage after years of public turmoil was that she was “tired of fucking arguing.” Unlike the couple’s previous breakups, the idea of divorce had a new finality to it that led many of Cardi’s fans to believe that this was really the end for the couple.
But this is far from the first time that Cardi and Offset have broken up and then reunited after he’s used dramatic public gestures to make amends for potential infidelity—a pattern that’s concerning, to say the least.
“We’re just really, really, really just typical two young motherfuckers that got married early,” she said. “That’s just what we are…. We’re no different than y’all’s dysfunctional ass relationships.”
Sure, some young couples have certain levels of dysfunction—but your partner being chronically unfaithful over a period of several years isn’t just your run-of-the-mill dysfunction, it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship. [People]
It seems only appropriate that Matthew McConaughey wrote an autobiography, because who else could accurately capture his many eccentricities other than the man himself? The book, “Greenlights”, starts off with a poem, and chronicles the actor’s life and career through the lens of McConaughey’s own “homespun wisdom.” And naturally, it’s interspersed with bumper stickers sporting phrases like “If you’re high enough, the sun’s always shining,” and “Educate before you indict.”
There is more I could write about the book, but once again, I’m sure you’d rather hear from McConaughey. So here I present to you the best quotes from the New York Times interview—context is not required to appreciate the brilliance (and yes, he’s referring to himself in the third person in one of them):
“I get what equity I bring as Matthew McConaughey, however you see me.”
“Like I say, ‘get relative with the inevitable’ — sooner and in the best way possible for myself.”
“Quit letting yourself off the hook, McConaughey. If that’s true, then run every red light. You’ve got your hands on the wheel. You’re making choices. They matter.”
“Everyone’s in a bit of a pickle, and it’s not a little gherkin,” he said. “It’s one of those big two-pounders you get at a roadside truck stop.”
Arguably McConaughey’s least decipherable quote was when he was given in response to a question about how he stays out of “America’s toxic culture wars” and appeals to fans with a wide base of political backgrounds.
“I’m trying to keep in with it and not out of it,” McConaughey replied. “For those people who say there’s nothing but yellow lines and dead armadillos in the middle of the highway, I say to you this: the armadillos are just fine. Because the right and the left are so far out, they’re not even on the asphalt anymore. They’re in the frickin’ desert.”
I have no idea what that means, but I think it might be another poem? [NY Times]