I’m not going to lie, the month of March has not been good to my Woke Bae endeavor. There were plenty of Baes but they be sleep. However, like the menstruation mensch of my dreams, our Male Tampon Ally has appeared like a uterus-loving messiah and he is woke as hell, y’all.
Meet Chance Ward, a man and an Occidental College student who knows all about tampons and ain’t afraid to show it!
What a narrative.
Ladies, did you catch all that? A man—an honest to god man—has the bravery, nay, valor, to walk around on this planet carrying tampons. Yes, I know most of us do this and have probably done so since the 7th grade, but I mean, come on. HE’S A MAN WHO HAS TAMPONS.
This is woker than a triple shot espresso after a good night’s sleep powered by a melatonin tablet popped the night before to get your sleep cycle all correct and shit.
Because Chance is Woke Phi Woke, he understands that he really shouldn’t be receiving a shred of recognition for something that most menstruating women do out of actual necessity all the fucking time. In a March 25th Facebook post following his newfound notoriety, he wrote:
While I am getting a lot of attention for doing something (that everyone else should be doing anyway), recognize that there are people and organizations that pour the entirety of their livelihoods into this very same cause. So while it’s amusing and all in good jest, when you stipulate that not all heroes wear capes, and start photoshopping my pictures to show Man-pon cartoons, remember who the real heroes are. And for those of you ranting and raving about my post but were literally just shitting all over Planned Parenthood a few months ago.... #BLOCKT
Oh but Chance, welcome to the 2016 internet-fueled America. We are all about heaping praise upon people for doing basic, decent things that they should have been doing in the first place. Hello, I have a whole monthly column dedicated to it!
This gallant story of woke-atry was brought to my attention by Mashable, who smartly highlighted the magnanimousness of Ward’s work by reminding women how deeply shameful their periods are to every period-less person around them.
A male college student has become an ally to menstruating women everywhere.
Ward is just one instance of how young men can approach periods in a helpful and understanding way, without shaming females for their natural bodily functions.
Here’s hoping Ward’s kindness will inspire others to change the menstruation stigma to, in his words, a “menstruation celebration.”
Sure, we’re in America, not the South Sudan, but let’s go with “menstruation stigma.” Try as some might, I’m not sure that, logically, one can truly be stigmatized for something that half of the planet does and which is part of a system that is literally necessary to the existence of humanity. My illustrious colleague Jia Tolentino once argued that you can not actually be shamed by an idiot and I can’t imagine what else to call someone who would stigmatize the normal bodily function of about three billion people.
But, I mean, if they say it’s a problem, then I guess the Woke Gods are trying to tell me something. So, yes, it is high time that somebody stood up and combated this ugly ignominy that I’ve never actually heard of or experienced but am now fully convinced exists among people who are of legal voting age. (Of course, some women don’t use tampons at all and therefore aren’t likely to have them on hand, but they should really be more sensitive to women’s issue, you know?)
I mean, fuck that understanding gym teacher who let you sit out class because you had cramps. Fuck all those establishments that stock their bathrooms with tampons. Fuck your divorced fathers and husbands and boyfriends who regularly purchase tampons and pads and Midol on your behalf. That shit ain’t woke—that’s just a power nap.
There is one line from Ward’s brave admission that will haunt me with its deep reverence until my final on this earth:
Never feel embarrassed for being human.
Hear that. Remember that. Live that. I once was lost and without tampons but now I am found (if I happen to be on the Occidental College campus) because this man dared to carry tampons sans shame.
Image via Chance Ward/Facebook. Gif via Bobby Finger.