A Sex Tape Is One of the Least Offensive Things to Happen in That Senate Hearing Room
As Twitter points out, the American people have all already been fucked in that room. But I’m supposed to be outraged by a workplace quickie???
Photo: Wiki Commons Latest Senate
As Congress clashes over the usual matters of state, like immigration policy and whether to keep funding a foreign government’s war crimes, I give you the story that derailed—emphasis on railed—the weekend: A Senate staffer allegedly filmed a sex tape between himself and another man in a Senate Judiciary hearing room, per a Friday night report in the far-right Daily Caller. And right-wing media and the internet at large are being very calm and level-headed about all this. Just kidding!
To set the scene—unless you’re this one conservative influencer who says he’s watched the tape “over 10 times”—this is what CNN and Business Insider have reported, as of Monday morning: One of the participants in the sex tape (which seems to have been filmed in Hart 216, according to Politico) has been identified as 24-year-old Aidan Maese-Czeropski, an aide to Sen. Ben Cardin (D-NE), while right-wing media has identified the other man in the video as a German graduate student. The German student was reportedly tagged in a leaked Instagram Close Friends story that surfaced on social media shortly after the Daily Caller’s report, his handle scrawled over Maese-Czeropski’s buttocks. The Instagram story in question shows a nude Maese-Czeropski in the hearing room—right between where Sens. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) and Chris Coons (D-Del.) sit—captioned: “In this very room: Sonia Sotomayor had her confirmation hearing, James Comey testified on Russian interference in the 2016 elections, Aidan got some thick German sausage and a jager sauce finish.” OK!!!
The whole scandal has since unearthed numerous horny Instagram stories purportedly from Maese-Czeropski, including some in which he lusts over Rep. Eric Sorensen (D-IL), who I did not know existed before this, and Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), among many, many others, which haven’t been independently verified. Per the Daily Caller, the sex tape was originally leaked from a group chat of gay Hill staffers.
There is a lot I want to say off the bat, but here’s my best attempt at a, err, nut graf: Yes, a gay sex tape appears to have been filmed in a Senate hearing room. And???
I know what you’re thinking: What about decency? What about professionalism? Courtesy? Respect for our institutions??? Well, I’d answer that last one with another question: When, exactly, was the last time our “institutions” ever respected us? As much of Twitter has pointed out, we the American people have all been fucked in that room. But I’m supposed to be outraged by a workplace quickie??