A Real-Life Bling Ring Crash Course: The Best (Worst) of Alexis Neiers

By Madeleine Davies | June 14, 2013 | 8:30pm

Latest

Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring (based on the book by Nancy Jo Sales) is set for wide released this weekend. Are you ready for it? If not, it’s okay! That’s why we’re here — to catch you up. Not on the entire history of the Bling Ring, of course. That would take ages and it’s already been well covered. Instead we’re going to focus on the most infamous, recognizable member of the Bling Ring, Alexis Neiers.

Neiers was not the ring leader in the Hollywood burglaries (that title goes to Rachel Lee) and even now — after going to court where she pled no contest — Alexis denies the extent of her involvement. Still, she is the most recognizable thanks to two things. First, Emma Watson is playing her in the movie (where Alexis’ name has been changed to Nikki) and second, Neiers was filming the reality show Pretty Wild for E! at the time of her arrest.

Most Popular

Pretty Wild — which followed Alexis, her sisters Tess and Gabby and their mom Andrea — initially set out with the intention to “document” the lives of a Hollywood mother and her attempts to rein in her fun-loving, partying daughters. It was a solid, if not overly played concept and E! probably could have brought in viewers on that alone. The family was entertainingly awful — Andrea home schooled her daughters based on the movie The Secret, the girls threw tantrums that went from 0-60 at the drop of a hat and they had a stripper pole in their living room. (Neiers also later admitted that both she and Tess were fucked up on oxy the entire time E! was filming.)

But then, midway through the first episode, the LAPD came to the family’s home, demanded they shut off cameras and arrested Alexis on burglary charges. The show then took an eye-catching turn, instead focussing on Alexis’ trial.

If Neiers thought that having cameras filming the process would make her look more sympathetic, she was majorly mistaken. Whether it’s that she’s actually terrible or that the show’s story editors had a major axe to grind, she came off as fairly despicable. (That said, am I the only one who really appreciated her and Tess’ friendship? I am? Cool.) Despicable or not, she was also crazy-entertaining to watch — in fact, she might even be one of the most enjoyable stars of reality trash yet — which is why I willingly watched all 9 episodes of Pretty Wild yesterday and put together this very educational Alexis Neiers supercut. You’re welcome.

(If all of this makes you feel depressed, chin up! Alexis is now a clean, certified drug and alcohol counselor who’s happily married with a baby. She also has a tattoo on her shoulder of her own face under an Native American headdress. Life goes on!)