A New Poll Says 68 Percent of Women Think Donald Trump's a Dick, Not That It's Nearly Enough

Donald Trump, in addition to discovering just how much he likes the BOOM! CRASH! noise his Galactic Space Infinity Blaster makes when he presses all the buttons, is enjoying a slightly boosted approval rating of 40 percent, per a recent poll. Unfortunately, it appears some gross picky women are keeping him from achieving true reverence, since 68 percent of all women polled said he sucked as a person, for some reason.

Indeed, according to the most recent ABC News/Washington Post poll, a strengthening U.S. economy has netted Trump some elevated approval numbers, with 46 percent of Americans reportedly approving of how he’s handled the financial side of things. But though Trump has many, many friends he definitely did not make up or lure to his mole tunnel with free Trump steaks, the U.S. population does not particularly want to befriend him, with 61 percent of people polled saying they disliked Trump personally.

That was especially true for women, 68 percent of whom said they viewed Trump unfavorably as a person, as compared with the 64 percent of women who disapproved of his job performance. But while polled black, “Hispanic,” and nonwhite Americans almost universally thought Trump’s job performance and personality sucked, with disapproval numbers in the high 70s and low 80s, ever-disappointing white women brought the average down. Only 53 percent of non-college educated white women disapproved of Trump as a person, and 49 percent said they approved of his job performance; 34 percent of college-educated white women said they were happy with Trump’s term so far, though 73 percent polled think he’s an asshole. Trump is still polling relatively well with men, and particularly with white men, for we live in a world of darkness.

There’s no point in attempting to convince the 32 percent of women who like Trump that they shouldn’t. We all have our own tastes, and I spent many years thinking Scar was the sexiest Disney character, so I understand some of you out there think a racist misogynist with the sophistication of a freshman fraternity pledge is a fun time, but you are wrong and I am very tired.