A New Armie Hammer Ex Emerges, Says He’s ‘Manipulating & Weaponizing Recovery Language’

Not two weeks after we all learned Armie Hammer was engaged to and has since split from a 29-year-old woman living in Prague, a different woman has come forward to talk about her brief relationship with him last summer. According to comedian and podcaster Brittany Schmitt, she and Hammer were in a “situationship” from August to September in 2023. I didn’t really know what to expect when I read the words “Armie Hammer” and “situationship” in the same sentence in the year of our lord 2024, but lucky (unlucky?) for me, Schmitt spelled out their month together in unsparing detail in a new podcast episode on Wednesday.

Schmitt acknowledges that Hammer has been accused of abuse, rape, and manipulation by several women, all of whom first came forward in 2021. And she assures us Hollywood’s most famous cannibalism fetishist has only gotten “worse.” “I think he’s worse now because he’s manipulating and weaponizing recovery jargon and recovery language. He’s just doing the same s-it with a different spin on it,” Schmitt said. “Here’s the thing—he’s an actor, and he’s a really good actor, and he’s been given a new script on how to do this whole Hollywood recovery arc, this redemption arc. … I do think he deserves an Oscar for the role he’s playing right now.” (I’m getting flashbacks to Jonah Hill weaponizing therapy language to be controlling toward his ex??)

According to Schmitt, they began seeing each other during a difficult time for her, and things moved quickly. They got matching tattoos “the first night” they spent together and during their relationship, he eventually got a tattoo gun and “started tattooing strangers,” calling the tattoos “cannibal ink.” Speaking of cannibalism: Schmitt recounted that at the start of their relationship, Hammer was surprisingly honest with… everything, even explaining that he’s aroused by cannibalism because he sees it as “a cycle of completion,” explaining to her, “‘I’m inside of you; I want you to be inside of me.’”

The other details Schmitt divulges are pretty bleak. The aptly named “situationship” devolved after she returned from a trip and she says Hammer lied about having covid to ditch her and hook up with another woman. Schmitt also pretty heavily implies that she believes Hammer gave her a sexually transmitted infection. Finally, the relationship fizzled when he told her he planned to return to the Cayman Islands and spend more time with his family. K.

Schmitt doesn’t have much to say about the fairly extensive allegations against Hammer—she says that everything in their relationship was “consensual” and she “didn’t have the same experience as the other girls” but isn’t “negating any of their experiences or taking it away or saying it didn’t happen.” Still, she rues that she missed “the red flag” of being tattooed by Hammer on their first date, and regrets trusting him as a whole: “I really believed him, and I’m really embarrassed.”

I walk away from this yet again disturbed by a woman’s recounting of her time spent with Hammer, who seemingly just keeps disappearing, then resurfacing involved with someone new.

• Nicole Kidman accessorized with a literal snake for a new Vogue Australia cover. [Vogue Australia]
• Hmm, Elle King postponed an upcoming show after that drunken Dolly Parton birthday tribute this weekend. [Just Jared]
• Tom Hollander inadvertently got very rich off having a name that’s deceptively similar to Tom Holland’s. [People]
• Danny Masterson has been denied bail because he has “every incentive” to flee. [Deadline]
• Here’s a fun little callback to Dakota Johnson being deathly allergic to limes. [Instagram]
• I’d love to have a girl’s night in with Julia Fox and the friendly female ghost who lives in her apartment. [People]
• Jeff Bezos had a strict “no gifts” policy at his recent 60th birthday party, and I guess we’re supposed to be touched by this billionaire’s disinterest in materialism…? [Page Six]
• Eva Mendes keeps receipts and does not let anyone come for her Ken (Ryan Gosling). [The Hollywood Reporter]