Actor Adam Driver is the face of a new Burberry fragrance campaign, and it’s, uh, interesting!
Burberry Hero features notes of bergamot, black pepper, juniper berry, and various cedars. But after watching the fragrance’s new commercial starring Driver, I’m left convinced that the scent may also smell of salty beach horses.
Let’s take a look:
So we have a horse and Adam Driver, racing.
Bit unfair, because the horse obviously wins.
Of course, Driver doesn’t have a shirt on. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a single piece of media with Driver in it that didn’t lead to him showing off his pecs at some point.
He follows the horse into the sea, and they’re just chillin’, I guess, while FKA twigs’s ethereal song “Two Weeks” plays in the background. The water seems quite deep for a horse, but what do I know? So I consulted the first website that popped into Google upon typing in “can horses swim?”
According to conservation organization Volunteer Encounter, horses are “actually very competent swimmers, due to their huge lungs, which enables them to naturally float” and “have a natural instinct to swim when they hit deep water and readily perform a paddle like action, not too dis-similar from a trotting action.”
This was also confirmed by Jezebel editor Stassa Edwards’s former roommate and “elder horse girl,” Courtney. When Edwards asked Courtney whether horses swim, she replied, “I don’t think you have a real job” followed by “of course horses can swim.”
Well, okay, I feel better about this because I was convinced that this horse was in distress. I mean, look at it!
FKA twigs intensifies.
Okay, so they do some swirly-whirly mystical man-horse stuff for a little bit.
Bonding, bonding, swimming, swimming...
But wait...
Something’s happening...
Is he...
Yes, lads. In the salty sea, Driver became one with the horse. He is now... a centaur?
“Burberry Hero, the new fragrance for men,” Driver casually intones by commercial’s end, as if we didn’t see him turn into an X-Files monster of the week.
But, like, did Driver become the horse, or was he always the horse, deep down? And more importantly, would I fuck Adam Driver as a centaur? Would I fuck Adam Driver as a human? So many questions, very few answers.