Martha Stewart, America’s greatest and truest treasure, has posted her first selfie. Or, at least, she has posted the first selfie she thinks is “good,” though, certainly, Martha Stewart has never taken a bad photograph in her life.

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Of course, as someone whose PhotoBooth exclusively consists of photographs documenting the shifting of her teeth, I fully understand and respect any and all selfie experimentation, in addition to thinking the selfie looks “weird.” Indeed, all selfies look weird, as they require us by law to purse our lips and tilt our heads just so. But don’t worry, Martha, you’re doing great.

Note that Martha Stewart has already mastered dog photography.

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And, most importantly, the art of social media as a tool with which one can ponder life’s fleetingness and cruelty.

Bow down to Martha, the Internet’s true Queen.

Night blogger, author of GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE YOU HATE.

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