A Bachelorette-Inspired Poll: Would You Rather Marry a Trainer or a Chiropractor? 

By Kara Brown  |  June 6, 2017 | 10:25pm
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Seeing as how it’s Tuesday and my life is now such that my mind is still racing with thoughts from last night’s episode of The Bachelorette, I’d like to tickle everyone’s fancy with a very stupid conversation. This morning, I hit up my dear friend Kate Dries, because who else am I obligated to share my every inane thought and opinion with? Today’s conundrum centered around the ever eternal debate: Trainer or Chiropractor?

Let me explain. Some of the standouts so far on this season of The Bachelorette—both in my opinion and based off the editing—are Peter, Eric and Bryan. Peter and Eric are both personal trainers and Bryan is a chiropractor. When faced with the option the marrying one or the other—with all other factors being equal—I naturally chose the chiropractor.

Here’s my logic: I’m just thinking practically here! Chiropractors make more money on average. They’re medical-adjacent and they probably have health insurance. Also, they can keep being a chiropractor even if they let themselves go or just aren’t really into “abs” anymore. Lastly, they are much less likely to have an obnoxious Instagram account.

Kate did not agree. Sort of.

Apparently, chiropractors do not have the medical legitimacy Kate requires in a suitor. Unhappy with this answer, I needed to poll a larger audience. So I decided to distract and waste my coworkers’ time with this discussion.

By far, Aimée has the most compelling counter to my choice.

Luckily, Madeleine came in strong in the paint with the same logic I’ve been employing.

OK, so here is my issue: Everyone is focused on what the trainer or chiropractor can do for you in regards to their chosen profession. I’m just thinking about my comfort level and what they can provide for me generally. However, that is not the discussion anyone wanted to have.

We seem to have a lot of chiropractor truthers here at the Jezebel headquarters! However, when you think about it, is personal fitness training really more or less legitimate than whatever chiropractors do? As far as I’m concerned, they’re about about as real and helpful as the individual providing the service. If that’s the case, then why not go with the one who won’t be all sweaty when you meet them for lunch and who won’t care how many carbs are in your Shake Shack burger??!!

As you can see, we were getting nowhere. That’s when our fearless and endlessly wise leader stepped in and led.

ALRIGHT LET’S DO THIS.

I am loving the lighting in these pics! What a tranquil-looking profession.

The consensus was that we did not love the megaphone action from the trainers but the chiropractors weren’t exactly as sexy as one would like.

We didn’t come to a total agreement but that’s alright. We are all grown, independent ladies who can make our own decisions about which man or woman with the ability to manipulate the human body we would prefer to share our beds with. But also, you should definitely marry the chiropractor.

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