5 Things You Probably Shouldn't Wear To The Office This Summer

Every summer, it seems that the question of whether or not shorts are appropriate for the office comes up in the style pages, like today, in The Telegraph, for example. Shouldn't we maybe concentrate on other summer fashion issues?

As Sadie noted last May, shorts are stressful enough, in terms of finding ones that fit properly and determining where and when it is appropriate to wear them. The yearly fight that goes on in the style pages regarding the appropriateness of shorts for the office only adds to this stress. For some reason, some companies find even the classiest dress shorts (which do exist, I believe) to be inappropriate, and certainly it's Next Stop, Bummertown if you work somewhere that's that concerned with knee-modesty and full-length pants, but aren't there more pressing issues when it comes to inappropriate summer fashions in the workplace? I think so. Here are a few examples:

Your Statement T-Shirt: Would you rather be fishing? Hiking? Going All The Way In Montego Bay? That's something your boss probably knows and understands, but probably doesn't need to see in t-shirt form. Is it 5 o'clock somewhere? Sure. But it's 8:30 here and you have a staff meeting in 15 minutes, during which you're expected to share the company's financial outlook for 2011. Probably won't make people feel too good if you do so wearing a shirt that says "I'm Broke, Let's Smoke," you know?

Anything From The Lady Gaga Collection: Corinne from accounting already did this last Halloween, so you're going to look as 2000 and late as someone who seriously uses the phrase "2000 and late."

Chewbacca Costume: Faux pas! Everyone knows you can't wear Chewbacca until after Labor Day, unless you ARE Chewbacca, and then the rules don't apply.

Soccer Cleats: We know you're really into the World Cup and that you would have played there, too, if Coach McElroy had given you more time sophomore year of high school or whatever. But you've already broken three toes by stepping on Glen's foot while walking to the copy machine. Can't you just buy a World Cup tie instead? We won't think any less of you or your dreams of soccer glory.

Projectile Whipped Cream Bra: Haven't you ever been to an ice cream shop in the summer? It's sundae season and you have too much shit to do to deal with the lines. You fill one person's sundae with your boobs, and the next thing you know, people are asking you to shoot a line out for everything from root beer floats to Belgian waffles. Plus, it's sticky and there will be ants. Or bees. It's just not worth it. You should consider getting a projectile bra that allows you to fly out of the building, Rocketeer style, though. That's just a stylish way to end a Summer Friday.

Any other suggestions, silly or serious, are welcome in the comments. And for those of you legitimately looking for advice on what to wear in hot weather, check out Sadie's Dress Code on the subject.

[All Images via Getty, with the exception of the Katy Perry screenshot, and the "Work Sucks" t-shirt, which, appropriately enough, comes from Work Sucks T-Shirts.]

[Is It Ever Okay To Wear Shorts At Work? [The Telegraph]

Earlier: Dress Code: How Not To Look Like Crap When It's Hot
Shorts: The Most Stressful Garment In The World