Image via Getty.

I know it’s only Monday morning, but why not sit back and crack open a fresh can of Natty Light to welcome in yet another week of absolutely bonkers news. Kicking us off: Blake Shelton is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2017, according to officer Gossip Cop:

Blake Shelton is People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2017, Gossip Cop has exclusively learned. It’s expected the singer and coach on “The Voice” will grace the cover of the magazine’s annual issue when it hits newsstands on Wednesday. The official announcement, however, will be made one day before.

YEE FUCKIN’ HAWWWWW.

In a year where this arbitrary exercise in heteronormativity seems somehow more meaningless than ever, let us celebrate Shelton’s many recent accomplishments, which include the release of new album Texoma Shore (not a new MTV show about attractive, volatile alcoholic youths living on the Oklahoma/Texas border); the current season of The Voice; a clothing line for Macy’s; and the opening of his very own restaurant/music venue, Ole Red, in Tishomingo and Nashville. Brews and burgs on Blake!

It’s almost quaint to think back on the days when People’s choice for Sexiest Man Alive could muster disbelief and outrage, but as of 2017, those days are gone and all that’s left is a deranged “WHATEVER!!!!” and also maybe a “WEEEEEE!”

Congrats, Blake! And an advanced congratulations to next year’s winners, a tie between an upside-down boot with a smile painted on it and Ed Sheeran’s pet cats.