In this week's compilation of pop culture crap: Kathy Griffin calls Kim Kardashian a "dirty whore," Stephen Colbert's Big Gay News, and Kristen Wiig teaches us how to flirt.
1.) Rebecca Larue, flirting expert.
This may be Kristen Wiig's best character yet. Let's just hope the show doesn't take Rebecca down the same "overused" route as Gilly and Target Lady.
2.) Your televised freudian slip of the week.
Hooters, Hooisers: it really wouldn't have been that big of a deal if this reporting team played it cool. But instead of moving on from this mistaken compliment to the lady coanchor's breasts, they continued on in a manner so awkward it could only be tamed by a masturbation joke. Oh wait, they did that too.
3.) Kathy Griffin calls Kim Kardashian "a dirty whore."
I'm sorry, she meant "a filthy whore." Guess this is what happens when Kathy gets seated next to people she doesn't really like at an event.
4.) The dying post office will be saved by "Jamming it in your box."
The Daily Show's Wyatt Cenac delivers a new commercial to help get Americans excited about mail the features Tony Hawk, Dianna Agron, Questlove, Miranda Cosgrove, Cee-Lo, Adam Levine, Cory Monteith, and (why not?) Harold and Kumar. Just jam it in your box!
5.) An Always Sunny high school reunion, part two.
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia closed out their season last night with the fantastic conclusion of the gang's high school reunion. Now that all the cool kids have turned against them, it's time for revenge. When that fails, it's time for Plan B: A dance routine to George Michael's "Freedom."
6.) Celebrity Rehab: 80s Toys Edition.
Shocker: Teddy Ruxpin is suicidal, My Buddy is addicted to pills and the Cabbage Patch Kid has abandonment issues.
7.) Every salad from every Italian restaurant, ever.
This is simply wishful thinking, but I hope that employees of said places around the country saw this Family Guy clip and will think twice and spicing up their "salad" options.
8.) Stephen Colbert's Big Gay Roundup.
Can this segment be repeated every week? And can we get Steve Carell to revive the Carell Corral someday?
9.) Simon Cowell is such a dog.
No, really: I had to capture this weird moment from Barbara Walter's Most Fascinating special this week because, whoa: Simon Cowell began his career in entertainment by dressing up as making videos of dogs. Also, who has a home with an actual ring of fire inside of it?
10.) Access Hollywood Live's "Twelve Days of Christmas."
More like "Twelve Days of What In God's Name Is Going On In Morning TV Land?" One thing is clear: Billy Bush enjoys cross-dressing almost as much as he loves the Christmas spirit.
Bonus: Jimmy Fallon and Fred Armisen make a valiant attempt at "Jingle Bells."
I'm sure you can expect more shenanigans like this, along with musical guest Michael Bublé, tomorrow night.
Double bonus (it is the holidays): The future of The Simpsons
I can't believe I almost forgot this gem from earlier in the week: The Simpsons fast-forwarded to the future for an entire episode to show us what Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are like as adults. It did not disappoint.