In this week's compilation of pop culture crap: Isaiah Mustafa paints a portrait of Matt Lauer, Community channels Glee for an episode, and more kissing from those adorable adult virgins.
1.) TLC's adult virgins who waited until their wedding day to kiss each other make up for lost time.
Though you might have thought you'd seen it all when Shanna and Ryan's first kiss was plastered all over the internet before TLC's Virgin Diaries even aired. But no: once the pair of adult virgins started kissing, they literally couldn't stop.
2.) Isaiah Mustafa paints a portrait of Matt Lauer.
C'mon, do you really think the Old Spice Guy would paint a portrait of Ryan Seacrest? Let's think this one over, NBC.
3.) Community goes Glee for an episode.
Is this what it's always like on Tuesday nights over on Fox?
4.) Some people just aren't made for holiday shopping at the mall.
As Will Arnett demonstrated on this week's Up All Night, it can be an anxiety-ridden nightmare for anybody.
5.) Casey Wilson's embarrassing Dad.
Taking inspiration from Andrew Jackson's face on the twenty dollar bill, he walked right into a salon and got himself a perm.
6.) What if you were born with the name Ronald McDonald?
Last night's Always Sunny brought the gang back to high school for their reunion, and the name tag on Mac's shirt revealed his birth name.
7.) Cheryl Hines takes a shot from Mario Batali's face.
Okay, so it's a version of his face made from ice. Just more riveting, food-related programming from The Chew!
8.) And the winner for "Most Phallic Situation of The Week" goes to...
The Dr. Oz Show! Watch as Dr. Oz and Andrew Zimmern convince a skeptical audience member to try some geoduck by suggesting it helps to keep her young. I think there's a lesson here for all of us: penises = youth.
9.) Michelle Pfieffer and Zac Efron want you to know their kissing scene was their idea.
Not that you're going to the theaters to see New Year's Eve this weekend, but if you do: the love scene between the High School Musical stud and the actress 20-some-odd years his senior was all their idea.
10.) Kim Kardashian to Kris Humphries during marital dispute: "I need a husband."
Not "I need my husband," not "I need you," but I need a husband. How this entire conversation didn't raise gigantic red flags for all involved, I'm not quite sure.
Bonus: Fred and Carrie go to the dog park.
Here's another sneak peek of Portlandia, season two.