10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

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In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, Hugh Hefner gives the definitive answer on whether or not Casey Anthony will pose for Playboy, Paris Hilton explains why she doesn't give blow jobs, and pageant mothers continue to be horrible people.


1.) Casey Anthony will not be posing for Playboy.
As Hef says, "Some people may think of Playboy as exploitation. I don't."

2.) Hef explains what Crystal Harris walked away with, financially.
For someone who is supposed to be so devastated with heartbreak (which he's been nursing with two new girlfriends, one of whom was supposed to be Crystal's maid of honor) didn't he look way sadder when he was discussing Casey Anthony?

3.) Only ugly girls give blow jobs.
Or so says Paris Hilton. So…does she think she's ugly? Because I—and the rest of the internet—have actually seen her give a blow job.


4.) Middle-aged white ladies dancing.
This week on Real Housewives of New York, "the blondes" decided to not participate in LuAnn's video shoot for her single "Chic, C'est La Vie" because they didn't want to embarrass themselves. So instead, they let cameras record them learning how to Dougie.


5.) Pot-belly pig at risk of eviction.
There is something wrong with the members of the homeowners' association that object to this cuteness.


6.) Speaking of pigs…
Laura Ingraham was on Today.

7.) What you wear for luxury car shopping.

8.) "The epitome of a Scottsdale douchebag."
This week, MTV aired True Life: I'm a Sugar Baby, about younger people who purposely seek out older, wealthier companions. The young guy that was featured wants to find himself a "cougar" to take care of him. Meanwhile, he's a gross, sweaty, portly mess who doesn't put anything into his physical appearance—which is often the tradeoff in these kinds of monetary-based relationships—and to top it all off, he completely lacks any swagger or game, and has the worst personality ever. At least one of his targets recognized that immediately.


9.) Demasculatize.

10.) Mother of the year.
This week, a mom on Toddlers & Tiaras withdrew her daughter from gymnastics because the exercise was causing her to develop unattractive muscles.



I'm the b*atch that completely sides with the HOA on #5. PIGS CAN BE TERRORISTS

*****Random background story: When I was a kid, my mom decided for some unfathomable reason to adopt a two hundred pound pot belly. She named it Scully. Fastforward to when I'm ten— Scully decides he's had enough of living in our backyard, escapes, and runs rampant through the neighborhood. My mom was too busy to deal with it, so the Scully Situation became my problem. Scully especially enjoyed digging up the neighbors' flower beds. What's worse, it started charging people. Its favorite hangout was an elderly woman's house. Scully would chase her everytime she went outside. The poor lady was too terrified to leave her house.

The rampage lasted for a week. I'd track it down, catch it, and herd it home. Within hours, psycho pig would escape again. I appropriated a four foot-tall Xmas decoration candy cane, and I used it as a shepherd's staff. There's me, walking through a New Orleans neighborhood with a candy cane staff, trying to herd the squealing, bucking Scully. Not as fun as it may sound!***

Pigs are very intelligent and very strong animals. They're also capable of flipping out majorly, and when they do, they make for very devious foes. Buyer beware.