10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

In this week’s compilation of pop culture crap, Whoopi Goldberg is high on live TV, Mary Matalin fights with husband James Carville, and Janice Dickinson joins the cast of Celebrity Rehab.

1.) Whoopi was high on The View.
Having just come back from an international flight—for which she took sedatives—Whoopi was still feeling (and acting) loopy on Monday’s episode. I think they should all be high all the time on that show.

2.) Speaking of being high…
I am so excited that Janice Dickinson will be on the next season of Celebrity Rehab. I would be secretly bummed if she gets sober, but something tells me I don’t have to secretly worry too much.

3.) The world’s least compassionate father
MTV has this new reality show called If You Really Knew Me, which showcases a different high school each episode as a group of students experiences Challenge Day, “a one-day program that breaks down the walls between cliques, and completely changes the way students view their school and each other.” Basically it’s like a reality TV version of The Breakfast Club. This one punk-ish, cutter girl (the Ally Sheedy of the group, I guess) took the program really seriously, and tried to share her feelings with her family later that evening, much to the incredible discomfort of her father. I cannot stop laughing at his ineptitude.

4.) When did Vince Vaughn become the head of the NAACP?

5.) On air marital spat
Conservative strategist Mary Matalin and her liberal husband James Carville were on John King USA where they were each weighing in on the whole Shirley Sherrod thing. Mary accidentally said, “teabag-ers” in stead of “tea party,” which made James crack up for the rest of the interview, which pissed her off.

6.) Abusive mom on Teen Mom
Remember when Farrah’s mother was arrested for domestic abuse after punching her daughter and then having a knife/gun standoff with cops? The entire issue will be a major storyline on the new season of Teen Mom, which premiered Tuesday.

7.) Twitter serves as a barometer for America’s rage.

8.) Tooth Fairy registry
I don’t know. The whole idea of a lady who collects baby teeth, breaks in to people’s homes to get them, and leaves some pocket money by the bed like she’s some shameful John is creepy to me. But something about a child registering for gifts to commemorate it all makes me even more uncomfortable.

9.) I love a lady who drinks because she thinks it’s rude not to.

10.) This would’ve scared me as a child
I usually love little old ladies, but something about this video triggers some irrational childhood fears of Madame the puppet. I know, I’m a horrible person. But Madame was a horrible puppet! Look at what she did to me!