10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

In this week’s compilation of pop culture crap, Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets her ass handed to her in the most delightful way, Betty White outs a Hollywood legend, and Perez Hilton thinks he’s the arbiter of what is and isn’t appropriate.

1.) It’s so satisfying to see Hasselbeck get her ass handed to her like this.
This week, Kathy Griffin was on The View and Elisabeth Hasselbeck didn’t like it one bit. The the look on her face made it seem like her anus was slowly but surely constricting with each Palin joke Kathy would throw out. She intermittently glared at Kathy and, at one point, tried to prove her displeasure by feigning a yawn. Finally, at the end of the interview, she worked up the balls to confront Kathy about the “untrue…and not so funny” comments about The View the comedian has included in her act. Her attempt at making Kathy feel uncomfortable totally backfired.

2.) “I’m not slutty!”
I paused my television while on the phone, and looked up and this is what I saw. She was actually talking about Miley Cyrus, but I still like to think of that flat screen being a thought bubble.

3.) Perez Hilton is such a shithead.
The gossip blogger appeared on The Joy Behar Show to discuss his latest controversy over whether or not the Miley Cyrus upskirt shot was child pornography. His defense—of helping distribute a crotch shot of a minor—is that it was not child pornography because Miley gets on poles and does public grind dances with older men, and that since she’s “been around the block” she should know how to get out of a car correctly. Then he said that the photo was not inappropriate, which actually contracted his previous statement of how he wanted to show an example of Miley being “unladylike.” Gender politics aside, wouldn’t believing something to be “unladylike” be the same as believing something is “inappropriate”? Ugh, he’s so stupid it’s infuriating. I love that he thinks he’s the morality police all of a sudden. And when I say “love” I mean “hate.” He sucks butt big time.

4.) Cancer is hilarious.
Every time I see this commercial for HBOC—involving hereditary breast cancer—I can’t help but think of HBIC. Also, why does this woman start laughing maniacally at the end?

5.) This guy’s cross-stitch pillows rule.
He’s actually a divorce lawyer and was on the news speaking out about no-contest divorces in NYC.

6.) Roger Ebert is great.

7.) Giant pig balls
Courtesy of Real Housewives of New Jersey.

8.) “I’ve had a lot of problems feeling comfortable with my body.”
Danielle Staub claimed on this week’s RHONJ that after her (first, not current) sex tape scandal, her confidence in her body and sexiness took a big hit. So she decided to solve the problem by doing this at a place called Squeeze Lounge.

9.) All pageant moms should be like this lady.
She says “hell to the no” on spending $500 for a dress, jokes about using her children as slave labor, loves the word “luxuriate,” wears different wigs for different moods, and gets high from glue fumes while crafting.