Images via Getty, Instagram; animation by Bobby Finger.

Sometimes, a Would U topic is not the choice of the Would Writer. Sometimes, a Would U topic is the result of a populist uprising on intra-office messenger Slack, in which the Would Writer’s colleagues come at her like a swarm of barbaric hornbots and demand that she ask our readers if, say, they would fuck Donald Trump if he lived inside Jason Momoa’s body.

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But think about it. Would you?

Jason Momoa is ripped as hell and has a cool scar on his eyebrow. Donald Trump is a smushed up caterpillar your 6-year-old brother set on fire with a magnifying glass. Would you have sex with Jason Momoa, except inside of him is a pussy-grabbing demagogue and Tic Tac hoarder who has solid plans to destroy the planet? Here is an excerpt of our discussion. It was a very long discussion.

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Brendan: Would U: Donald Trump If he Looked Like Jason Momoa

Emma: arleijgsfd

Emma: Omg

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Kelly Stout: Wow

Emma: Can we do that?

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Kelly Stout: That is truly a hard question.

Emma: Ellie

Emma: @ellie

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Ellie: What?

Kelly Stout: ATTN ELLIE

Joanna Rothkopf: @ellie

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Brendan: Ellie

Bobby: EMERGENCY!!!!!

Emma: Who’s gonna say yes first?

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Joanna: For the first time ever....I was speechless.

Bobby: I mean I could put on earplugs.

Bobby: Yes, I would. I would just pretend it’s Jason Momoa.

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Emma: I’d wear noise-canceling headphones like Leo.

Ellie: Could he be in Dothraki robes?

Brendan: Jason Momoa could actually fill out those suits. He’d look good.

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Bobby: It would be Donald’s...moves. Which is bad.

Kelly Faircloth: I feel queasy.

Joanna: Oh, hm, yeah. The moves.

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Kelly Stout: What about peen?

Ellie: What would remain of Donald exactly?

Joanna: What about the moves? And the mouth breathing? And the hand flapping?

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Kelly Stout: And the looming.

Ellie: Yeah what of Donald’s mouth movements and puckering?

Bobby: Fully Jason’s bod. But Donald’s...behavior. Which is truly horrifying.

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Gabrielle: I don’t think I could. I unendorse my endorsement.

Bobby: Maybe I take it back.

Clover: Ok then yes.

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Kelly Stout: I can already see myself waking up in a cold sweat from a sex dream tonight.

Joanna: I LITERALLY DON’T KNOW.

Emma: He is fully physically Jason Momoa, but personally, he’s Donald Trump.

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Joanna: But what does that mean though?

Bobby: It means it’s Jason Momoa under complete physical control of Donald’s brain. And with Donald’s voice, which is so scary.

Julianne: I would but not tell anyone.

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Joanna: No way. Not Donald’s voice.

Kelly Stout: The voice is a dealbreaker for me.

Brendan: So much of Trump’s personality is in his physicality, though.

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Kelly Faircloth: I think this is the Would U that makes me take a vow of chastity and retreat to a life of quiet contemplation.

Julianne: Ugh shit I wouldn’t actually.

Joanna: Here are the circumstances I would:

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Joanna: If he had Jason Momoa’s body

Joanna: Didn’t speak or move

Joanna: Just lay there.

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Gabrielle:

Kelly Stout: He’d be like, “oooh, your va-CHINA!”

Aimee: I think his breath would be very bad.

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Ellie: Does Donald Trump’s breath live in Jason Momoa’s mouth?

Aimee: Yes. Because I don’t think Donald Trump knows how to take care of himself hygienically.

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Kara: Fuck all of you for ruining Jason for me.

Kara: Ugh. Probably yes. I hate myself.

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Kelly Faircloth: Me, after today.

Emma: Ya I want to die.

Stassa: Jason Momoa is definitely going to sue us.

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Kelly Stout: What a way to go though, you know?

This poll is rigged, but what do you think?

Last time on Would U?, we asked: Would you have sex with Great British Bake-Off traitor Paul Hollywood? 33.7% answered: “Hell no I wouldn’t! Fuck you, Paul!” 23.7% said “Maybe, if this arrangement involved getting to meet Mary Berry”; 22% said “Maybe, if this arrangement involved baked goods”; and 20.5% said “Hell yes I would! I, too, like the way he says ‘raw’.”

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CORRECTION: This post originally misidentified the device with which your 6-year-old brother sets smushed-up caterpillars on fire as a microscope. It is a magnifying glass.