Put Last Night's Real Housewives of New York Episode in the Smithsonian Where It Belongs
LatestWe’ve all been taught to look out for certain signs indicating that danger is coming: Where there’s lightning, there’s thunder. Pain in your left arm might mean a heart attack. And, when Bravo puts timestamps on a Real Housewives episode, shit is about to get wild.
Wednesday night’s Real Housewives of New York was one for the books. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol, the singledom, or the fact that these women have now been working together for close to a decade, but these bitches are bringing it this season. We are approaching insanity levels that rival Season 3 and it makes me deeply happy.
Everyone has gathered at Dorinda’s home in the Berkshires for some sort of holiday sleepover/dinner party. Is it also Dorinda’s birthday? I’m not really sure and that question is never really answered for me! The festivities begin at 3:40 in the afternoon. The first fight breaks out around 3:41 pm. Sure, William Shakespeare wrote The Comedy of Errors, but could he edit an hour of television as masterfully as The Real Housewives of New York producers?
The impetus for the fight is LuAnn’s ongoing joke about helping Bethenny invent the Skinnygirl margarita because she happened to be there when Bethenny ordered the drink one time. The suggestion being that Bethenny owes her multimillion dollar skinny food empire to her. That is annoying but also, nobody believes this to be true. People of relevance and sense don’t actually think LuAnn had anything to do with Bethenny’s success BUT WHEN YOU ATTACK BETHENNY’S BUSINESS, she’s completely unable to behave like a mentally balanced person.
As a result of Luann’s stupid comment, Bethenny refuses to disclose any details about her personal life which, woooo big punishment. It is then, my friends, that the fight truly begins. Carole, one of the sanest people to ever agree to be on a reality television show, arrives in the middle of it all and you can mark the moment where she considers bolting back home to her sexy vegan boyfriend.
Because this is a team sport, Bethenny and Luann briefly pause so that LuAnn and Ramona can get into it about Tom, LuAnn’s now-fiancé, who previously dated both Ramona and Sonja. I’m not sure where I fall on this issue mostly because I don’t care.
My guess is that Ramona did go on more than one date with Tom, but it probably wasn’t eight times. I don’t think Ramona cares about LuAnn dating him other than that bringing it up pushes LuAnn’s buttons. At the same time, Tom probably downplayed his relationship with Ramona and LuAnn likely wouldn’t have given a shit regardless because she is a woman on a mission.
We shift back to Bethenny and LuAnn because Bethenny overhears LuAnn joking about Bethenny getting the same haircut as her. This, while hilarious, is not LuAnn’s best move because it makes her look like 14 year-old queen bee who won’t let the other girls in her class wear pink because it’s totally her color. Also:
However, I can forgive this deeply lame move by LuAnn because she has had a wine glass glued to her hand for the entire episode.