Miss Colombia Ariadna Gutierrez, she of devastating live television moments and Steve Harvey truther, is finally sharing her pain over winning—and then losing—the coveted Miss Universe crown.

In an interview with Colombia’s W Radio, Miss Colombia called the mistake a “great injustice,” adding that she hasn’t done much press since the incident because she needed time to “grieve.” “I was disconnected. I haven’t received phone calls from almost anyone. Very few people have communicated with me,” she said. “That’s because I had to grieve for what happened.”

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Gutierrez continued to compare Steve Harvey’s fuck up to the apocalypse, “It was a great shock,” she said. “Because it is a dream I fought for. I have always dreamed of this, of being Miss Universe.”

Despite her emotional devastation, Gutierrez criticized the pageant for the way they handled Harvey’s mistake. Rather than pull the bejeweled royal crown of the universe off her perfectly coiffed head, she said the pageant organizers could have acted more “fairly.” “They could have done it, I don’t know, the next day in a press conference or a press release,” she said. “They did not do things the right way.” Fair point.

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But hey, Miss Colombia isn’t going to let this great injustice get her down, there’s definitely a silver lining to be found in the whole debacle. “I managed to make history,” Gutierrez said, “which I think is more important than winning the Miss Universe title.”

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Image via Getty.