First Lady Michelle Obama, like Zooey Deschanel before her, has wordlessly declared bangs "out."
It happened at midday, when the breeze was low and the weather was fair. Reporter Justin Sink noticed that Michelle's bangs were looking more sideswept than fringey as she spoke to today's youth about their futures, which should not include the goal of becoming "a baller or a rapper":
Here's FLOTUS with the new hairdo at Bowie State graduation twitter.com/JTSTheHill/sta…— Justin Sink (@JTSTheHill) May 17, 2013
Then the conspiracy theorists arrived, and swiftly at that:
How did Michelle Obama's bangs grow out so fast? They were trim and blunt-ish just two weeks ago. #bangsconspiracy— Heidi N. Moore (@moorehn) May 17, 2013
@moorehn Banghazi— Ellen Stuart(@ellenkstuart) May 17, 2013
And the jokers just had to chime in:
First the IRS Commissioner and now THIS?! RT @jtsthehill: BREAKING: Michelle Obama's bangs are gone— Chris Moody (@Chris_Moody) May 17, 2013
But the truth...the truth is so much more complicated. Behold, a brief history of the First Lady's hair from the past week or two.
May 7, 2013: SIDESWEPT
May 8, 2013: HEAVY FRINGE
May 9, 2013: HEAVY FRINGE
May 11, 2013: SIDESWEPT
This deep photo analysis indicates that the First Lady merely has access to a good hairdresser who probably wields a barrel hair brush. You can breathe a sigh of relief because Michelle Obama does, in fact, technically still belong to the "Very Bangable" club.*
Some Bangers** spent early Friday afternoon frustrated with this inaccurate bang rumor-mongering:
GUYS, those are still bangs on Michelle. They're just a big longer. twitter.com/mccanner/statu…— erin mccann (@mccanner) May 17, 2013
And made some stern ultimatums:
never trust fashion or hair news from 50-something male political reporters.— erin mccann (@mccanner) May 17, 2013
And that was Friday.
*This is a club for people with bangs and in no way implies that the First Lady is someone who people want to "bang" i.e. have intercourse with.
**Again, does not imply that they "bang" others, only that they can identify and appreciate said hairdo.
Images via AP