As we all know, First Lady Michelle Obama is an accomplished lawyer, academic, and activist, but she's also a lady, so it is our patriotic and evolutionary duty to obsess about irrelevant shit like which parts of her hair are cut shorter than which other parts of her hair. Huzzah! Luckily, she's smart and funny about that too—in an interview with Rachael Ray airing tomorrow, our gal FLOTUS (I call her "FLObiTUSsin" because SHE'S MY MEDICINE) explains that her much-discussed new bangs are her version of a mid-life crisis. "I couldn't get a sports car. They won't let me bungee-jump. So instead, I cut my bangs."

Here's the video:

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Michelle Obama: Bangs are 'my midlife crisis' [USAToday]