Zac Efron Doesn't Want to Be Buff Anymore

Illustration for article titled Zac Efron Doesnt Want to Be Buff Anymorei/i
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Who wants to be buff? Certainly not me, and especially not right now. But if you are one of the few people spending the last few weeks punishing your body with protein shakes and deadlifting routines (much to the torment of your downstairs neighbors), may I ask: Why? Why on fucking earth would you do that to yourself? Even Zac Efron would rather we all just “be your size!”

On popular chicken wing YouTube show Hot Ones, Zefron admitted that Baywatch was fun and all, but getting buff was tedious and exhausting. Agreed! Speaking to host Sean Evans of his fitness regimen for 2017's Baywatch, he said: “I realized that when I was done with that movie, I don’t ever want to be in that good of shape again. Really. It was so hard.” The former bleach job later admitted, “Take care of your heart, take care of your brain and you’re good.” I am good! I’m also not buff. Besides, my brain has been missing for some time now. So I guess this means I should follow my heart?

Question: When your entire career has been less about your acting ability and more about people’s intense need to see you shirtless, do you still get to tell your casting agents: “Sorry, I’m not gonna be buff right now?” Obviously, I’m being hyperbolic, because in what world would Zac Efron ever actually choose—of his own free will—to not look the way he does. But it’s happened before! John Krasinski still believes he’s a legitimate action star after “deciding” he didn’t want to play nerds anymore. Besides, just look at Ryan Reynolds’s entire career. He’s so ready to shed his rom-com sensibilities, he’s even willing to play a Pokémon or a bottle of gin! Does Efron have that sort of dedication? [Page Six]


What sort of construction could possibly be happening at the Playboy Mansion while Los Angeles is under strict(-ish) shelter-in-place regulations? TMZ reports that crews are still working on remodeling the entire property as recently as Thursday when several stories of scaffolding were seen wrapped around the mansion like those bandage dresses that lecherous old Heffner used to force on his bunnies back in the aughts.

Alongside scaffolding and obvious renovations to the building’s exterior, billionaire Daren Metropoulos has also hired excavators to do who knows what with the surrounding property. What sorts of buried horrors are hidden on that lot, I wonder? Definitely not anything I’d like to dig up with my construction equipment—but that’s just me! It’s all personal preference, really, especially when you’re rich and can hire crews to do non-essential work despite the governor’s orders!

If you’re one of the few Playboy Mansion purists that exist—in which case, seek help!—you shouldn’t sweat it too much. TMZ reports that Metropoulos’s purchase of the estate from Heffner back in 2017 entailed a clause on protecting the main house. Still, Metropoulos doesn’t seem to be someone who follows rules very well, or at all! Is this the second coming of the dreaded bunny? (I absolutely hope not.) [TMZ]


I really wish Mandy would’ve kept it to herself.

All these famous people are having meltdowns because the cameras aren’t focused on them 24/7. Here’s another concert, courtesy of Miss Ariana Grande.


  • Woody Harrelson thinks its 5G, of course. [New York Post]
  • Tyler Cameron is still going. [Us Weekly]
  • Imagine if your former co-worker kept sending you eggs without asking. [ET]
  • Diane Kruger loves kissing Norman Reedus. [People]
  • What’s on Harry Styles’s mind? [Just Jared Jr.]
  • They’re filming Housewives reunions on Zoom now. [Page Six]

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chocolate covered raisons d'être

5G is amplified by contrails. And it’s the means by which pedo sex rings communicate with their hub at Area 51. Not that Area 51, you sheep...the other one. The real one.

QAnon is just a diversion from the true story.

I’ve already said too much.

Wha...wait....did you hear that? Run! We’ll meet back at the oak tree disguised as a pigeon!