Your Rational Love of Whiskey Is (Thankfully) Demolishing Vodka Sales

It appears as though whiskey sales are increasing to the point where they’re surpassing vodka sales, and there’s an infographic more touchingly beautiful than anything any alcoholic artist ever produced to prove it.

The Wall Street Journal reports that all the flavors they’re adding to vodka just haven’t done the trick: what people want isn’t some boring, clear beverage – they want something with flavor and color. (Conversely, flavored whiskeys are doing quite well. That’s because everything whiskey is better than everything vodka.) Sales of bourbon and Tennessee whiskeys made in the U.S. rose 7.4 percent in 2014.

[Knocks one back]

Total U.S. vodka sales increased 1.9% in 2013, compared with 2.7% growth in the wider spirits industry, according to industry body IWSR—the first time since 2000 that vodka has underperformed the sector average. Analysts expect a similar result when 2014 figures are released.

[Winks at that cute bartender for another]

Once seen as an exciting alternative to the brown spirits favored by their parents, vodka is now viewed as too mainstream for newly legal drinkers in the U.S., analysts say.

The Huffington Post gloms on with the theory that whiskey sales have increased partially because women are diggin’ it, citing slightly insane pieces that talk about women drinking whiskey like the history of women drinking alcohol is limited to Sex and the City‘s popularization of The Cosmo.

But this isn’t about gender. This is about smarts. As my father used to say, people who like vodka don’t like drinking. Do you like whiskey? Congrats. You’re on the right side of history.