Your Man Can't Get It Up Because You're Too Nice To His Friends

Illustration for article titled Your Man Cant Get It Up Because Youre Too Nice To His Friends

Scientists have been examining the terribly under-researched problem of erectile dysfunction, and you'll never guess who's the source of the trouble: women. It's all your fault! Again! And among middle-aged men the issue isn't what their female partner is (or isn't) doing in the bedroom, but how she treats his friends.

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Though TV led us to believe that shrewish wives are throwing a fit every time their husbands want to hang out with the guys and watch the game, researchers from Cornell and the University of Chicago say the problem is actually that women are descending into the man cave too frequently. According to a study of 3,000 Americans ages 57 to 85, about a quarter of men have a problem with "partner betweenness," or the feeling that their female partner is closer to one of their friends than they are. Of that group, 92% were more likely to report erectile dysfunction.

The problem is the most pronounced among men ages 57 to 64. University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann tells the Chicago Sun-Times, "This is when people are retiring, leaving the work force, reorganizing their life. This is very threatening to a male's understanding of himself." By becoming close with another man, wives threaten their husbands' masculinity by undermining their "feelings of autonomy and privacy."

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Of course, it's possible that the man creates his own sexual troubles by neglecting both his wife and best friend, thus driving them closer together. Just kidding! It's definitely the woman's fault for encroaching on guy time. Let that be a lesson to you, ladies: When the game is on, don't get chummy with your man's friends, just stay in the kitchen whipping up snacks. And definitely don't invite any female friends over to help. Other women are always trying to steal your man!

Wife Closer To Your Friends Than You? It Could Affect Your Sex Life [Chicago Sun-Times]
When A Man's Female Partner Becomes Too Buddy-Buddy With His Pals, His Erections May Suffer [ScienceBlog]

Image via Archipoch/

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DISCUSSION

VioletBaudelaire
Violet Baudelaire

I'm having trouble seeing how this makes sense from a biological/evolutionary standpoint. So let's say you're a male, and you have a mate who is a lady. And you notice, your lady mate is getting pretty friendly with another male, and you feel like they're getting close. Everything I've ever heard about this sort of thing would not suggest that the first male would just go, "wah wah" [sad trombone] and stare at his flaccid penis sadly. Everything that I've ever heard would assume that the male in question would want to claim his mate, mark her, and beat his opponent, so I feel like a throbbing erection would be necessary.

Would any other armchair Darwinians like to discuss?