Your Favorite Supreme Court Justice, Brett Kavanaugh, Has Covid

Supreme Court Justice and alleged sexual predator Brett Kavanaugh has tested positive for covid-19. The virus appears to be a breakthrough case, as Kavanaugh was vaccinated back in January.

According to the New York Times, Kavanaugh and his fellow justices tested negative for the virus as recently as Monday before a meeting over procedural matters. But by Thursday, Kavanaugh tested positive ahead of a “ceremonial investiture” for fellow conservative slimeball Justice Amy Coney Barrett scheduled Friday morning. It’s unclear when or how he contracted the virus.

There’s some irony in this happening to a man who, during the 2020 primary election, voted with his fellow conservatives to force Wisconsinites to stand in long lines at the polling stations and risk infection from the burgeoning pandemic instead of extending absentee voting deadlines in the state. But hey, Kavanaugh reportedly isn’t experiencing any symptoms, so he’s not exactly getting the karmic kick in the ass he deserves.

And speaking of lessons learned—or, rather, not learned—if anything, Kavanaugh’s illness should act as a little wake up call for Justice Stephen Breyer, the 83-year-old liberal on the Supreme Court who refuses to retire even if it would behoove the fate of democracy to be replaced while Democrats still maintain control of the Senate and presidency. Breyer should look at this, wonder what would happen if he were to contract a breakthrough infection himself at his age, and ask himself whether his ego is worth possibly risking long-running health problems just as another pivotal election is on the horizon.

But this is, admittedly, a pipe dream: Breyer won’t get a clue, and Kavanaugh will likely come out of this fine, continuing to disenfranchise Americans and terrorize anyone with a uterus. This is as much a testament to the effectiveness of the covid-19 vaccine as it is a reminder that Shit Is Bad, Lads.