You'd Think Someone With a Cosmetics Line Would Know Their Foundation Shade by Now

Illustration for article titled Youd Think Someone With a Cosmetics Line Would Know Their Foundation Shade by Now
Screenshot: Twitter

Legend, icon, and star, Trixie Mattel has a secret. Well, perhaps not so much a secret as it is a trick of the trade. In October of 2019 the drag queen, musician, and now makeup mogul revealed the final step to creating the perfect, seamless female illusion, and that is, of course, foundation your hands. “So everybody’s like, you’re a psychopath, why do you put foundation on your hands,” Trixie says around the twenty-one-minute during a tutorial on her YouTube channel where she’s literally just painting her hands, which feels like a fair question. The answer comes moments later when she lifts up both hands, one foundationed, one not, to reveal the absolute gag that not only does her foundationed hand perfectly match her face but also that it’s highlighted. Yet another unrealistic standard for women!

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This is a technique that Kim Kardashian might want to look into considering that it appears, even with the multiple in-family cosmetics empires she has readily available at her fingertips, she cannot for the life of her find a foundation that matches the actual color of her skin, much less her fingertips. Wisely, KKW Beauty and Kylie Cosmetics have stayed out of the foundation game, but come one, there’s gotta be someone on the inside who can help a girl out.

“Don’t judge me for my pale hand,” Kardashian wrote in an Instagram story of her applying lipgloss recently, where it truly looks as if a hand that cannot belong to the same body as the face speaking has popped up into the frame. At first glance, it might look like the same kind of sight gag as one of those videos where someone puts a sweater on a dog and then uses human hands to feed it, but no, that really is Kim’s little ghost hand.

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Kim’s use of darker shakes of makeup is suspect, to say the least, and while I would suggest that Kim and co. just start using a foundation that actually matches the color of their skin, I think it’s safe to say it’s not likely that’s going to happen anytime soon. So, in the interim, perhaps Kardashian et al might continue borrowing from drag queens and adopt Trixie’s hand painting technique. Given that Khloe’s already a pro at cleaning tanner off the walls, what’re a few more fingerprints anyway? [Bossip]


Meghan Markle finally had her day in court and, well, it wasn’t great. Markle is currently suing Associated Newspapers, the publishers of Daily Mail, regarding a 2018 article in which they published excerpts from a letter she’d sent to her father after he didn’t walk her down the aisle on her wedding day.

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On Friday, a justice in the high court threw out three claims Markle filed against the publishers, ruling in favor of Associated Newspapers. The tossed out claims pertained to breach of privacy, copyright, and data protection rights, and a claim that the paper acted dishonestly and with malicious intent to create conflict between Meghan and her father.

The Daily Mail, who reported on this story and is also the publication being sued, has labeled this a “humiliation” for Markle, and a “complete win” for themselves, because, of course they have.

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Certainly, this wasn’t great news for Markle, but the case appears to be far from over. Meghan will likely testify in the case as will her father, against her, as he’s claimed he shared parts of the letter with the press to defend himself after an article in People vilified him. [Daily Mail]


The Dixie Chicks finally said “fuck” in a song.


Does Ana de Armas know this isn’t Ben Affleck? [Celebitchy]

Zayn Malik, like most dads-to-be, is excited [Us Weekly]

Okay, so who in Kardashian-Jenner cinematic universe got covid-19? [Page Six]

Gossip Girl’s fashion was truly ahead of its time [Us Weekly]

Imagine... if Gal Gadot followed the rules [Page Six]

freelance writer living in San Francisco. Please clap.

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DISCUSSION

crankylittlephoton2
crankylittlephoton

You’d think as many times as this asshole has been accused (justifiably) of wearing blackface, that she would have gotten the god damned clue by now.