You Don't Need to Be a Baby to Love Nightlights

I love you, phallic nightlight
Image: Me

The other day I convinced myself I needed some sort of lamp, though I absolutely did not need a lamp. Specifically, I wanted a glowing, rainbow, LED lamp. Please don’t ask me how exactly this desire manifested, but if I had to guess it had something to do with the fact that Jezebel’s new offices are a little drab, so my brain conjured the gaudiest, brightest solution to my cold, white-walled office woes. I wanted people to come in, see this lamp on my desk, and say: why the fuck is this here?

I wasn’t exactly sure what this thing I wanted looked like so I fell into a deep Amazon hole, the kind where you’re trying to figure out what is an actual, human-sized product and what is really a stylish miniature fit for a doll that will arrive at your doorstep from Russia cracked into 37 pieces and nearly a decade after you’ve ordered it. But it was through this hole that I found my new favorite thing, which is not the elusive rave desk accessory I was looking for. Instead, I found a nightlight.

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I know what you’re thinking: nightlights are for babies (and for adults who are afraid of the dark.) And yes, my new favorite nightlight, which is shaped like a cluster of tiny mushrooms fit for a fairy, definitely looks like it’s for children (in my defense, the product is clearly listed as “Night Lights for Kids Children Adults.”) It is light sensitive so it only lights up in the dark and when it does the light slowly pulses in a rainbow pattern. They were sold from some company I’ve never heard of in a four-pack for $9.99 and while who knows how long they’ll last (they’re not battery operated) they were a perfect impulse purchase.

Nightlights are a deeply underrated room accessory. Before I put my little mushroom light above my kitchen counter I used a much creepier nightlight, one with the two twins from The Shining on it that my mom got for me at a flea market.

My Shining nightlight
Image: Me

At my parent’s house there’s a beautiful nightlight in their guest room that sort of looks like stained glass, painted with a hummingbird and flowers, and I put it on whenever I visit. It’s just nice to see the contours of the room as I fall asleep instead of complete darkness. The best of nightlights can give a glow not unlike that of a lit candle, except this is a candle you can sleep with glowing in the corner of your room.

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For those with sockets to spare who don’t want to stumble in the dark to get to the bathroom, consider the nightlight.

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About the author

Hazel Cills

Pop Culture Reporter, Jezebel