Yoko Ono's Makeup Advice for Men is the Funniest Thing You'll See All Day

Yoko Ono's delightful men's wear collection for the boutique Opening Ceremony is the retail collaboration that keeps on giving. Here, the artist gives makeup advice to men. Ono recommends one daytime and one evening look; the former revolves around rainbows, the latter, sparkles. The look for dawn is actually a set of instructions for removing that pesky one-night-stand from your apartment:

Give all the drink to your date,
and you look at the sky from your great window.
The town is waking up.
Pull him by his dyed blond hair
and quickly take him out the door.
Erase him from yuor computer
Erase him from your memory
He had a cheap smile you didn't like
so you'll never Make- up with him even if he tried.


Thanks, Yoko. Truly.

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I got the chance to meet Yoko in person years ago. I was one of the few non-rich non-celebrity people at a packed gallery opening. She gave a short speech to the assembled crowd. They was lots of media there, TV camera crews, people were shouting out hostile-ish questions like "How do you feel now about breaking up the Beatles?" In the jostling of the crowd I got pushed to spot right in front of her, about 3 feet away. We're the same height so we were eye to eye. She was visibly shaking. Wanting to convey my support, I smiled big and projected as much warmth as I could. When she met my eye, she locked on and didn't let go til she was done speaking. Then she was whisked behind the scenes by her bodyguards.

Awhile later one bodyguard searched me out in the crowd and led me to a 'backstage' room. I thought maybe they were going to give me some souvenirs or something. Instead, sitting on a sofa all by herself, was Yoko herself. I sat and talked with her for about twenty minutes. She thanking me for being the "one face in the room full of love". We talked about music, peace activism, art. I told her what a huge influence she and John had been when I was growing up. She replied "We love you too". She was completely warm, natural, approachable. Not at all like her image, not at all like she comes across in interviews.