Photo: Getty

Will You Still Love the Hot Duck When He Looks Like This?” asks the Audubon Society, pointing to a photo of Central Park’s hot duck looking hotter than ever:

Yes the hot duck might be “molting,” which means he will lose his “showy feathers” during an “awkward phase,” leaving him in “drabber attire known as eclipse plumage.” But all I see here is a rumpled duck who took off his motorcycle helmet to pick you up for your date, for which he is on time. Or perhaps this disheveled duck just put together an Ikea bookshelf for you that was complicated enough for him to break out a sweat, but not too complicated that he did not complete the task. Or maybe this rumpled duck has bedhead from getting up and going straight to the kitchen to cook you eggs, I mean pancakes.

Weep weep, says mussed-up duck, who is hot but no longer unattainably so. To which I say, Yes. Next question.