Women Will Vote For You If You Appeal To Their Emotions, Says Man

With all this hullabaloo about conservatives taking classes about how to talk to female candidates for political office (lesson 1 is just a picture of a woman in a power suit with an arrow to her that reads PERSON, followed by a pop quiz where men frown and squint and fill in the same chart, this time with the word omitted), you’d think members of the GOP would be a little more humble about their admittedly shoddy recent track record with the ladies. Not if you ask Iowa Senate hopeful Mark Jacobs.

On Sunday, Jacobs (not to be confused with designer Marc Jacobs — what a difference a K makes!) appeared on local TV show to announce that he knew the difference between men and women. With women, you see, you need to connect with them “on an emotional level.” He knows because he’s an expert at women because he’s personally known two women —his wife and daughter — for many years. Unlike other men, who have male wives and male daughters and maybe even male mothers, Mark Jacobs has an inside scoop.

In an interview Sunday with WHO-TV in Des Moines, host Dave Price asked Jacobs what the “biggest difference between men and women” is, in terms of reaching out to them as voters.

“I think you have to connect with women on an emotional level,” said Jacobs. “And with a wife of 25 years and an 18-year-old daughter, I’ve had a lot of coaching on that.”

Unfortunately, Mark Jacobs didn’t give any concrete examples for how, exactly, a candidate could use emotions to manipulate women into voting for them, but here are some free suggestions:

“Vote for me, or I feed this puppy to a lion.”
“Hey, you’re pretty. Doesn’t that make you feel self-esteemy? Vote for me.”
“Your father would be very disappointed in you if you didn’t vote for me.”
“Hey! HEY! Let’s hug!”
“If I lose the election, I’ll be sad.”
“(buys the women purses and shoes)”