Autumn (arguably the best season) offers a cornucopia of things to be grateful for. There's the beautiful changing leaves, less humidity (read: good hair) and chillier weather that allows for long park walks and hot chocolate. Great, right? Well, too bad it's all WORTHLESS if you have no one to share it with.
The best things about fall are done in pairs — games of touch football where you're both laughing with your mouths wide open (at least that's how it's done in stock photos), wearing coordinated-but-not-too-matchy knit sweaters on a weekend visit to Vermont and dressing like Norm and Cliff from Cheers for Halloween. None of that works if you're single, which is why two New York women have taken to Craigslist to find the perfect 'fall boyfriend' and avoid shrinking into winter, cold and alone.
Seeking Fall Boyfriends
2 smart, funny, attractive girls each looking for a fall boyfriend with chill group of bro friends, now is the time you must start dating someone in order to spend the holidays together/go on ski trips/have a NYE kiss you're stoked on.
Labor Day has happened, we are saying goodbye and filtering out our casual summer, meet up at 2 a.m. hook ups and are looking for boys we might be able to stand being sober around.
Needed: 2 males interested in something steady/serious-ish as the weather fades from hot, humid, and care-free to crisp, chill Patagonia vest season. Interested parties should have a window in their bedroom and want to cuddle with the window slightly open to let the fresh autumn air in while a fall scented candle (that I'll buy for you, babe) fills the room with cozy comfort.
Chill group of guy friends (preference will be given to bros who come from the same group of friends, just because that makes it easier and more fun for double date brunching)
27 and older
6 feet or taller (if you're 5'11" but have a personality to make up for the height difference, willing to consider it. Any shorter? Don't apply.)
Wardrobe should include: Driving mocs, Barbour coat, Half-Zips (at least 3, please send pics if possible), Ray-Bans (Wayfarers or Clubmastesr preferred, but open to other styles), loafers, Patagonia vest(s), Vineyard Vines, basketball shorts for me to sleep in
College education. Ivy league preferred. Def in a frat or played a sport (lacrosse, crew, tennis, etc.)
Probs spent at least 4 weekends in Montauk over the summer
Activities can include but are not limited to
Borrowing your pullover and returning it after an indecent amount of time, if at all
Taking selfies in Patagonia vests/taking selfies while doing all activities #fall #boyfriendweather
Watching football (aka me getting drunk while you watch football, and you thinking it's so adorable when I wear jeans and Converse to the bar and get blackout in your team's hat.) *sneakers show how chill and laid back I am < this is why it's kinda essential for the two boys to be friends so me and my friend can blackout together and I won't get bored.
Cooking - Instagramming dish with captions such as "Fall night with my babe @yourhandle *heart emoji all the fall emojis*"
Brunching outdoors until weather permits
Strange how the night moves, with autumn closing in
(If you don't know that song, don't apply)
Looking forward to meeting you!
In the romantic comedy version of this story, the women would discover that they've both known their fall boyfriends all along, only — TWIST — the men are both 5'6.
The ladies who wrote the ad confirmed to Buzzfeed that they wrote the as a joke, "unless [they] find love, and then it's for real."
Too bad Mr. Autumn Man is already taken.
Image via Shutterstock.