Woman Tries, and Fails, to Smuggle Over 200 Pounds of Bologna Across the Border

A woman was caught trying to sneak more than 200 pounds of bologna across the border from Mexico last week, hiding the enormous tubes of meat under the floor mats of her car.

Usually when someone is found traveling with large quantities of strange items, it’s not because of their love of that item; it’s because drugs. The 30 porcelain cats were great for stuffing with opium. The multicolored easter eggs were perfect vessels for 13 pounds of cocaine. Not this lady, though. Her meats were untainted by neither heroin nor oxys; blow nor illegal supplements. Just 227 pounds of pure, unadulterated processed sausage. Yum!

According to Customs and Border Protection, officers at Paso Del Norte asked the woman if she was bringing any fruits, vegetables or meat products across the border. She said no, despite the 23 rolls of Mexican bologna nestled under her feet. A second inspection revealed that she hadn’t been telling the truth, and the meat was seized and destroyed (!). The driver was given a $1,000 civil penalty.

Bologna is not allowed into the U.S. due to the possibility of spreading foreign animal diseases, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a shame for food to go to waste. Earlier this year a CBP officer threw some leftover chilaquiles I’d bought at the airport in Mexico City into the trash and I had to stifle a scream.