Woman Sues for $250,000 After Harrowing Duck Attack

Al Qaeda. The Ebola virus. Earthquakes. Tainted McDonald’s meats. We know the dangers; we’re prepared to be attacked. But there exists in this world an even more terrifying danger—one that we are just now beginning to become aware of.

Ducks. Seemingly innocent, fluffy, quacking ducks.

Cynthia Ruddell is seeking $250,000 in damages after a pet duck attacked her out of nowhere. Via The Christian Science Monitor, which as we know is the world’s leading source of duck-attack related news:

Cynthia Ruddell, 62, of Washougal, Washington, was on her mother’s property in Estacada, Oregon, about 25 miles southeast of Portland, when a neighbor’s duck attacked her without provocation, according to the suit filed in Oregon state court last Friday. In her attempt to run away from the agitated waterfowl, Ruddell fell to the ground, breaking her right wrist and spraining an elbow and shoulder, the suit claims. The incident occurred in May of 2012. The complaint accuses the bird’s owner, Lolita Rose, of failing to maintain control of her pet or “to warn or otherwise inform neighbors of her duck’s dangerous propensity in attacking individuals.”

The media was not informed of Ruddell’s possible anti-bird affiliations or what her opinions on the Daffy Duck Fantastic Island movie were. These things may have provoked the duck’s ire.

The duck was apparently put down after the incident, which is shitty because this poor duck would probably just have been better off living in a pond in the wild somewhere out in the middle of nowhere rather than being someone’s “pet.”

Ruddell’s lawyer, Gregory Price, said it was his understanding that Rose had her duck killed after the incident. Rose could not be reached for comment on the case. Price said he expects the damages will ultimately be paid by Rose’s insurance policy, but filing a lawsuit was necessary as a precaution because of continuing medical bills from a second surgery on his client’s wrist and a two-year statute of limitations on such claims.