Woman Still Doesn't Understand Why Her 'White Only' Swimming Pool is Racist

An Ohio landlord who posted a “White Only” sign outside her property’s swimming pool is requesting that the state reconsider its ruling. She totally wasn’t being racist, you see, since she did it because she was worried that if nonwhites were allowed in the pool, their strange black people hair products would make the water “cloudy.” See? Not racist at all!

Jamie Hein owns a rental complex outside of Cincinnati. When she noticed that one of her tenants were being visited by their teenage daughter, who is black, she grew concerned about the fact of the pool water’s clarity and posted a sign outside of the pool that read “White Only.” It wasn’t that the teen’s presence in the water would render it unclean; just that the crazy haircare products she must be using were threatening the very molecules in the water and the subsequent swimming enjoyment of all the god-fearing whites who wanted to enjoy some blackless water.

Several eyewitnesses saw the sign, the girl’s parents filed a complaint with the state Civil Rights Commission before moving out of the complex to one managed by someone who wasn’t such an asshole. And on September 29, the Commission ruled against Hein and agreed that it is indeed Very Not Okay to segregate swimming pools by race.

Hein still doesn’t think she was being racist, though, and has requested that the Commissioners hear her case again. They’re scheduled to reconsider the case tomorrow. If the Commission reiterates its earlier ruling, the case will proceed to the Ohio state Attorney General, and the Attorney General may choose to award punitive damages to the former tenants who complained.

No word on whether Hein knows about how often people urinate in swimming pools, or if it was okay for other nonwhite races to swim in the pool. Also, how much of one nonwhite race do you need to be in order to be barred from swimming. Does the word “octoroon” come into play? So many stupid questions to be asked of this woman who doesn’t appear to know the meanings of words.