On Thursday, June 25, Amber Pangborn gave birth to her daughter Marisa in the Northern California wilderness. Then she shielded her newborn from placenta-hungry bees and accidentally ignited a forest fire.

I’m totally revising my (currently hypothetical) birth plan.

According to the Los Angeles Times, Pangborn lost her way in the forest on Thursday, after she went into labor and took an unfamiliar shortcut while driving to her parents’ house. Disoriented and without cell phone service, she had no choice but to deliver the baby herself.

And because life is sweet and gentle, Pangborn then had to contend with mosquitos and bees, the latter of which were keen to appropriate the placenta. In her efforts to protect Marisa from the asshole insects, Pangborn was stung.

By Saturday, circumstances were dire. With only apples to sustain her, Pangborn feared that she and Marisa would not survive without immediate rescue. She lit a signal fire, but it swiftly overtook the forest.

“Like, the whole side of the mountain caught on fire,” Pangborn explained. “I was looking at Marisa and was like, ‘I think Mommy just started a forest fire.’”

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But thankfully, the ensuing fire investigation led to the discovery and rescue of Pangborn and her daughter. And Pangborn, very understandably, was awash with relief.

“I was crying, I was so happy,” she said, “I thought we were gonna die. I’m so glad someone had finally seen us.”

Pangborn was taken to a hospital in Oroville, California, and, on Sunday, Marisa was transported to UC Davis Medical Center “for further evaluation.” Here’s hoping there are no further complications, for mother or daughter.

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Video via YouTube.