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Woman Does Extraordinary Number of Whip-Its, Crashes SUV Into Mailbox

Illustration for article titled Woman Does Extraordinary Number of Whip-Its, Crashes SUV Into Mailbox

There are just so many ways to grab Wednesday and bend it to your will, to tell Wednesday, “Listen up, Wednesday, I am the boss of you and soon you will disappear over the horizon, utterly forgotten, just like Monday and Tuesday before you.” Some people buy a venti iced caramel macchiato, some people post a #HumpDay Instagram of themselves riding a camel on Birthright, and some people, like 28-year-old Tennessee resident Anna Thomas, do thirteen cans of whip-its at 9 am and crash into a mailbox.

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Thomas was charged with a DUI and arrested after she drove her SUV into a brick mailbox this morning. According to NY Daily News, cops arriving on the scene found her “extremely disoriented.” 13 empty cans of Reddi-Whip were removed from her car; police began placing them on the hood, but there were so many, mailbox owner Craig Lynch told NYDN, that “they essentially ran out of room.”

Human beings! It’s crazy how much we’re capable of, especially in terms of nitrous oxide intake. What’s your #BeatTheWeek strategy?

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Contact the author at ellie@jezebel.com.

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DISCUSSION

and some people, like 28-year-old Tennessee resident Anna Thomas,do thirteen cans of whip-its at 9 am and crash into a mailbox

Anna, skittish, looks at her watch. It’s 9am. She looks in the back seat, to the grocery bag full of whipped cream canisters, and grabs one. As she pops the cap, she says to the dashboard hula dancer, “Welp, it’s 10th grade somewhere.”