Woman Calls 911 to Complain About Subway 'Flatizza'

A North Carolina woman called 911 because she was dissatisfied with her Subway “Flatizza.”

Everyone remembers the ~~hero~~ woman who called 911 when her McDonald’s ran out of Chicken McNuggets. But never before has the preparation of a menu item passing itself off as “pizza” caused such outrage. Until now, that is.

Bevalente Michette Hall, 37, was angry about the way employees at a local Subway restaurant prepared her “flatizza,” Subway’s version of a flatbread pizza. When workers refused to refund her money, she did the most logical and sane thing she could possibly do in such a situation—she dialed 911. Via the Gaston Gazette:

According to police, the woman called 911 to say her pizza wasn’t made correctly. In the 911 call, Hall says the staff at the Cox Road Subway put marinara sauce on her pizza. She said she wanted pizza sauce instead.

“It’s terrible, and I got my receipt,” she said. “And I told them I can’t eat that kind of sauce.”

According to the Gaston Gazette, Hall spent only three minutes in jail before being released on $2,000 bond.

I know exactly what you are all thinking—just what the hell is a “Flatizza?” According to Subway’s website, the Flatizza is “crispy flatbread that’s loaded with mozzarella cheese and marinara sauce…It’s crispy, cheesy and totally edgy at meal time, snack time or anytime.” So if you’re looking for a “totally edgy” snack, the Flatizza is probably perfect for you. I searched through the website thoroughly but did not find any mention of the Flatizza being so “edgy” it causes people to lose their minds and place angry calls to 911. That might be part of their next advertising campaign, though.

The Flatizza seems to causing a lot of strife in our world—perhaps it is, as my friend who tried one last week said, a “Devil’s curse on the fast food industry.” That was before he ordered three to eat at his desk at work.