And Bridgestone took us back to the 1950s with a spin on the ol' "take my wife, please" bit, with a dastardly villain being disappointed after a man gave up his wife to spare his tires, as opposed to his life to spare his tires. Because nobody wants a dumb wife when there are tires on the line, right? The whole thing is just creepy, especially when the woman is shoved, forcefully, out of the car.

Bud Light's "Book Club" ad doesn't necessarily fit the "sad bro" pattern of the night, though it does present men as childish idiots, making "thrusting" jokes and trying to hit on women with lines like, "I'd like to hear you read some words."

The worst ad of the night award goes to "Flo TV," in which an announcer informs the viewing audience that a man shown lingerie shopping with his girlfriend has had his spine removed. After hooking the bro up with a mobile tv, the announcer instructs, "Change out of that skirt, Jason." Because he's such a powerless girl, get it! High fives, everybody. Let's hope half the viewing audience—you know, those spinestealing, dream crushing, vampire tv wearing skirts ruining the world— don't mind being insulted while tuning in to the big game. Look, ad agencies, we get it: you're trying to reach out to men watching the game. But it might be worth considering the fact that presenting men as dumb, pathetic babies in need of gadgets to save them from their boring lives and presenting women as horrible harpies intent on ruining the world might turn off more than a few viewers at home. If nothing else, you've given a sizable portion of the population a list of things not to buy (here at Jezebel, we refer to that as "badvertising"). Better luck next year, bros.


There was at least one bright spot dealing with these theme, however: Lauren Wick's hilarious flowchart mocking the night's worst ads, designed to let bros "know if Super Bowl commercials are helping you be all the man you can be."

My Flowchart Of How To Know If Super Bowl Commercials Are Helping You Be All The Man You Can Be [Lauren Wick]