Winona Says: "I Gotta Bag Me a Husband!"

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• Us implies that because Nonni‘s pushing 40, time’s running out.

She says she’s into the “cute writers” of San Francisco. Good luck with that. [Us]

• That woman who slept with Ashton Kutcher is in a sex tape. Different guy. [HuffPo]
• Say the sleazes at Vivvid, releasing said tape:” Vivid has obtained never-before-released footage that shows Brittney engaged in very explicit, uninhibited sex with a former boyfriend. Ashton‘s fans will undoubtedly enjoy seeing what the star himself may have experienced, in this exclusive video. “We’ve acquired the tape and confirmed its authenticity. Brittney is obviously a beautiful young girl who could clearly seduce any man,” said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of the world’s leading adult film company. “We’ve consulted with our attorneys and feel comfortable that we will be able to distribute the tape.”” [HuffPo]
• Top Chef Michael Voltaggio was not asked to compete on Top Chef: All-Stars. Well, isn’t it for those who didn’t win in the first place? Like, another shot? Anyway, he’s been accused of being “bitter,” but this seems like a tempest in an All-Clad skillet. [E]
• Robbie Williams mooned some people at a show in Copenhagen. [Perez Hilton]
• NeNe Leakes and her husband are still together…kind of. Technically. Says she: “We are still together…We are in the same house and we are still legally married. But that’s not to say we won’t be unmarried…We are cordial, and it is very much of an up and down thing. One day is good, the next day is bad. That’s what I’m really tired of. And I’m very aware that the 40s for me, are the new 30s and that I need to be happy because life is very short.” [Essence.com]
• Victoria Beckham‘s exercise regimen is predictably grueling. “I run four or five miles every day on the treadmill. For me I like the fact I can get off whenever I want … I’ve also started seeing a trainer at the gym and he’s fantastic. Brutal, but absolutely fantastic.” At least she doesn’t claim it’s “housekeeping” or “breastfeeding” or something. [PerezHilton]
• Speaking of…Brad Goreski says Rachel Zoe will make a good mom because “she’ll have something really tiny to dress up.” Insert — well, any joke here. [E]
• Joining the ranks of legends to be busted for pot possession is Kurtis Blow, who got a TSA pat-down after agents noticed “an anomaly” in his pants. It was less than an ounce of weed: a misdemeanor. [E]
• Not shockingly, Kirsten Dunst doesn’t really want to talk about ex Jake Gyllenhaal’s romance with Taylor Swift. [US]