Why Yes, I'd Eat This Gender-Revealing, Food Colored Cheese Lasagna

The world has had enough of kitschy gender reveal concepts, especially after this dummy’s gender-reveal plan caused the 2017 Sawmill Fire in Southern Arizona, destroying 45,000 acres of land and resulting in over $8 million in damages, but surely there is room for one more:  The latest trend is a $140, family-sized lasagna filled with food-colored ricotta from New York City’s Villa Italian Kitchen.

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Villa Italian Kitchen will serve you a cheese lasagna with blue or pink innards (unfortunate for those producing a “boy,” the former comes out as a sickly green hue) with garlic rolls and your choice of a garden, Caesar or Greek salad. It looks nasty, but man, if your family is Italian-American or if you, like Garfield, love lasagna and despise Mondays, there could not be a better option.

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When I showed the green lasagna to my co-workers, no one was particularly interested in the idea of eating this thing that we, under no circumstance, would ever even consider ordering. I found that strange, but then again, I’m of the generation that was sold purple and green ketchup in advance of the first Shrek movie (that was 2001, I was 9) and I loved that shit. It tasted exactly like regular ketchup except it was an off-putting color, and what child doesn’t love to shoot gross garbage down their mouth hole?

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

Codename_SailorV
Codename_SailorV

Lasagna is one of my favorite foods,. but I can’t with this. It looks so unappetizing. But then I also wouldn’t touch novelty colored ketchups as a kid either. Also, I have my doubts that it’s good lasagna. The fact that it seems to be devoid of  a tomato based sauce makes it extra suspect.  Did they use alfredo instead in order to to not disrupt the color scheme?